TV: Lost "Some Like It Hoth"

TEASER Okay, a Miles episode. Finally. It's been long enough and now that my initial distaste for the character has worn off, I'm pretty stoked for this episode. Seriously, his cranky pants attitude for most all of last season was really annoying, leaving me to hope that his neck would meet Sayid's furious feet (he killed a guy with his feet, people, a moment I should bring up at EVERY opportunity). Now Miles has chilled out a lot and is becoming a lot more likeable. We already have a thoroughly creepy flashback and some nice mysteries unfolding. Promising teaser!

The episode title is way lame though, and it's from my favorite movie of all time.

ACT ONE Miles' father is Alvar Hanso. We get it. We know, right? We've known from the season premiere, right? But it's "Lost," they have to do the cryptic big build ups for the things we already know (like Claire being Jack's half sister, Jin being alive, etc). I love new hyper aware Hurley. He's cutting through a lot of the miscommunication junk that bogged down the first years of this show. "Are you on a secret mission?" Yep, Hurley, he is, THANK YOU for figuring that out! If this was a year ago, Hurley wouldn't pick up on it until Miles was about three round deep into Taboo with the corpse. Also, pretty awesome that our gang is the security for Dharma. They seem kinda untouchable right now.

ACT TWO So Hurley is crazy, right? Like, that's how he talks to dead people. I never once thought that his convos with Charlie were anything but him being just a bit nutty. Well, I guess they could be some sorta vision quest island thing, but I was always sure that they weren't the real deal. Also, for a second I was thinking there might be some creepy Kate/Ben's Drunk Dad hookup moment but that quickly turned. For the better, mind you, Kate's become annoying but I wouldn't wish that drunkwad on anyone. And what is Hurley doing? Is he writing "The Empire Strikes Back"? End of the episode, please come soon so I know what in the world that bounty hunter bit and the title of this episode's all about. And I can't wait to see what dead person spilled the beans about Miles' parentage.

ACT THREE Finally! We now know that the island has given Jack magical chalkboard cleaning powers! That thing went from being covered in scribblins to being squeaky clean in just the blink of the camera! Wowzers! Hurley's attempt at bringing Miles and Hanso together (what's his real name? I should look that up, he's not Candle or Hanso) was priceless, as was the look Miles' shot his dad when he revealed he liked country music. Great little moments. I really enjoyed the foreboding banging of the numbers onto the hatch, too. Bring dem numbers back, yo! Such a stink has been made about them not being able to change the future, I wonder if Hurley's going to go to great lengths to stop that hatch from being built.

ACT FOUR Is it weird that I had the same reaction to hearing the year 1977 that Hurley did? My initial thought a couple episodes ago when they ended up in that time was that if I was there, I would be hightailing it on a submarine back to the US as soon as possible so I could see it in the theater. Straight up. Glad Hurley has a variation on the idea, even though he really doesn't remember how "Empire Strikes Back" begins. Also, I guess we were just introduced to some new faction of players? Some possible shadow cult, maybe obsessed with the four-toed statue and all it's mythic voodoo? We'll see. All the stuff between Miles and Hurley about Miles' father was really well done and acted. I love how this show dissects human emotion like that, all with time travel and jumpsuits. Nice to see some of dirty old Sawyer come back. Get some rope, indeed.

ACT FIVE Geez, Hurley, did you even WATCH "Empire Strikes Back"? Luke got his hand cut off BEFORE Vader told him he was his father. Der! But leave it to Hurley to rationalize things using pop culture. Probably why he's my favorite character on the show. I'm also glad that Faraday is back. He's a weird character but I'm sure that with his return comes a lotta answers. Excitement! Excitement that has to wait two weeks. Ugh...

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)

TV: Kid Nation "I'm Trying To Be A Leader Here"

Child labor laws be damned, this is the best show on TV right now. I can say this because The Office, 30 Rock and Lost don't start for at least another week (except Lost, I cry everytime I think about that February premiere). I have not been so genuinely moved by a reality program since Whip-Snap revealed she had no family on Who Wants to be a Superhero?. Which was, like, a month ago...but still, Kid Nation has the makings of a highly addictive reality show. As soon as Greg got in Mike's face in a very Sawyer/Jack struggle for power, I knew I was in for some pre-adolescent emotionally draining drama. Forget The Pick-Up Artist and America's Next Top Model, this is the real deal (by the way, totally rooting for the Yale chick and the girl with Asperger's on ANTM).

The premise behind the show is pretty simple and straightforward: 40 kids are dropped off in Bonanza City, a ghost town in New Mexico (that is actually a big movie set), and must then fend for themselves and create a "working society" and are grouped into four divisions (red, blue, green and yellow). Add a little bit of structure in the form of competitions to decide what groups get to do what jobs (upper class, merchants, cooks, laborers) and a bit of reward (a $20,000 gold star given to the kid who does the best job every week) and you have the makings for TV ROYALTY.

Here are some of the kids and my thoughts on them.

MIKE
One of the four CBS-approved council members that lead the town, Mike got off on the wrong foot with everyone by not helping out during the Nation's mile-long hike to Bonanza City. However, during the physical challenge (which involved catching colored water and filling a glass container; how much more Double Dare can you get?), Mike stepped it up and led his Red Team to victory. Early on, Mike started to crack under the pressure of leadership, but his courage to patch things up with Jerk Hole Greg is admirable. Then again, this kid was the only one of the council that wanted a TV instead of seven more latrines to add to their existing one. And he solved Jerk Hole Greg's graffiti problem by yelling in his ear and running away.

TAYLOR
Little miss beauty pagaent winner who, early on, talked about saving all the starving kids in Africa and of course doing something about Iraq. Widely acknowledged and agreed upon political statements sound even better when skipping out of the mouth of this Southern Belle in waiting. Taylor leads the yellow division with a little, well-manicured iron fist and, when not crying about wanting to go home, doing dishes, and having to sleep on the floor, she's chilling with the farm animals and being an asset to her team. Seriously, this girl fed some hoses to something or other under that big oil rig thing during the physical challenge. Her big drama was whether or not to go home after the first four days. She's decided to tough it out, which I'm glad about. She's going to provide some sass, I'm sure.

LAUREL
The future President of the United States of America. The leader of the green division, Laurel proved just how awesome she is by selflessly counseling pretty much every single whiny and crying kid, including her co-leaders Mike and Taylor. She's personable, open-minded, observant, wise beyond her years, and the only member of the council that acts like a leader. When picking her team, she snatched up Michael and Sophia, the two kids who had previously shown just how awesome they are (more on them in a bit). She didn't even have first pick, the other leaders were just more superficial about their choices. Sure her team came in last place during the physical challenge, but no other leader could have handled being stuck with the lowly task of laborers (Taylor has to stay clean at all times and both Mike and Anjay were too busy being testosteroids about the challenge). Laurel accepted the meager pay the job brings and will surely work hard and help her division. She's an inspiration. I'll vote for her in thirty years.

SOPHIA
The revolutionary of Kid Nation. She immediately took control of a dire situation upon arriving in camp and made dinner for forty kids (after Taylor created one big and uncooked pasta chunk) and followed suit the next morning. She is the steadfast voice of reason, claiming that sometimes she feels surrounded by dumb people. She also has a whimsical side, choosing to do goofy dances in the street for nickels in order to buy a vintage bicycle at the town store. She works the hardest and has a truly adult outlook on the whole thing. The best thing about her? She was pretty much the only person who said she wasn't happy with the council at the town meeting and still got the $20,000 gold star. I love that she was brave enough to speak her opinion and I also love that the council was mature enough to reward her for her amazingly hard work, despite the honesty. Along with the gold star, the winner gets to call home to tell their parents. Sophia's voice when calling home got to me. She was so overwhelmed, she seemed like she was going to tell her mom that she had lost an arm in a tragic pancake making accident. A very real moment caught between a revolutionary and her frizzy haired mom. Next week says "Sophia continues her campaign against the council," making me think she's going to get even more aggressive. Who cares, she's already got $20,000. I say give'em hell! She'd make a better leader anyway.

MICHAEL
This kid was pretty much absent for the entire episode except for two instances where he proved to be Laurel's future speech writer. Twice in the episode he stepped up, shut everyone up, and gave motivational (to 8 year olds) speeches that calmed everyone down and gave the council an opportunity to speak (instead of the council doing this, since Taylor was too busy trying to remember all the words to a Hannah Montana song and Mike was buried in his deep inner monologue). The gold star question came down to either Michael and Sophia, and it was a tight race indeed. Right after Sophia lashed out at the council for the yellow division's non-existant dish washing job (Taylor doesn't do dishes people!), Michael stood up and gave his second inspirational speech, seemingly sealing the deal for gold star-hood. He didn't get it (maybe because all he can do is talk) but I'm sure he will soon. As long as he can, you know, move something other than his highly influential mouth.

GREG
I've talked about Jerk Hole Greg some. This kid yelled at Mike during breakfast, got in his face, and created a very tense moment. The best part? Greg putting his finger over Mike's mouth, laughing and walking away. SAWYER AND JACK! Real tension! Later on, after being divided up, Greg and his cronie Blaine (was there ever a more jerktastic name?) wrote "Go Blue!" over all the other bunks. Greg is 15 and he's taunting 8 year olds. Oh wow, someone needs a reality check. Of course after seeing that $20,000 is up for grabs, Greg has decided to get one. I can't wait to see what his definition of working hard is, maybe stealing kids' push carts so he can do their work?

JIMMY
The first kid to go home and he was downright awesome. He loved hanging out with the older kids, hunting jackrabbits, and everyone loved him. Their earnest pleading with him to stay, ugh! So touching! But, as he said, he doesn't feel cut out for this show and he misses his family. Go home then, kid, you did the best you can do.

JARED

I love this kid. He's the only one on the show, so far, that seems to be socially awkward, a misfit, a goober, and downright annoying. I reiterate, I love this kid. He has a raspy voice equivalent to a 65 year old cigarette enthusiast and insists on always wearing a cowboy hat. When he got paid the highest salary available for being on the winning red team, he spent all his money on a big hunk of dark chocolate and a book by Shakespeare. I can't wait to see what crazy antics this kid gets into, he's like a walking Hannah Barbera cartoon.

Those are the kids that made themselves apparent to me. As the weeks go by, I'll profile the other kids that rise to the occassion and prove to have a personality. Until then, I'll be looking back at this pilot fondly. My Wednesday nights are set, so hang on.

MY SCORE: ***** (out of 5)

Lost "Through The Looking Glass"

TEASER I'm freaking out already. This show needs to be impregnated by me, I love it so much. I can't even think about that crazy flashback with a bearded Jack and near suicide. What's important? JINN SPEAKS ENGLISH! Ah finally! And truer words have never been spoken! The dedication that these characters have for each other, something that I am amazed by. Hurley and Claire missing Charlie, Sayid talking to Jack, Rose to Bernard ("I'm a dentist, I am not Rambo")! I'm already freaking out, I don't think I can handle the next hour and fifty minutes.

ACT ONE I'm seriously pissed at my TV. It's snowy and I'm squinting. I'm squinting and I hear explosions and people possibly dying! Okay so, Naomi doesn't trust Juliette and I really don't trust Naomi. She's way too pretty, fell out of the sky, it reeks of deus ex machina. Plus, she healed at Wolverine speed. Second, I love that the Looking Glass Babes called Charlie one of "them." Way to keep that theme of "them" and "other" going, Cuse and Lindelof! Ben is batshit crazy, straight up, and that I can tell even through the blizzard on my TV. I'm fearing for Juliet; I feel revengeance from Ben! Um, and, yeah, that last minute or so. I cannot have Jinn or Sayid die. I feel like Bernard and Rose are easy targets just because they're not regulars.

ACT TWO Okay, how exactly can ones heart hold up during this? Sure, Bernard is a straight up pussy for telling everything and he's just put Rose and the others (see, I just used it) in danger...BUT...he is just a dentist. He did what Rose said. Yeah, I have a soft spot for wusses in stories because, honestly, I'd probably do the same thing (never get trapped on an island with me). I was seriously thinking I was going to see Jinn brains all over the beach. And how much head trauma can Sayid take? It's really time for him to go bonanza on all of these guys. He was trained to be a killing machine (or something), let's see him do some killing. Starting with that other guy, not Tom. I like Tom. Oddly. And was Jack's ex-wife pregnant? I can't tell with my TV but she really looked bump-y. And Charlie is so confident now that he doesn't care about dying. Maybe those girls will like the confidence and Charlie can get a good bye threesome. One of them is named Bonnie, I think. Was that Ben's girl's name? I don't think so?

ACT THREE And if they get off the island, first order of business for Kate? A guest spot on Maury Povich to make Sawyer PAY UP! He is sleepwalking and trotting dangerously close to Checked Out mode. He's pretty high up on my list of those to die, which is really no good. I can't wait to see Ben and Alex go on thier bonding backpacking trip. It'll be like A Goofy Movie except with a megalomaniac and no quasi-hip rap tracks. Kudos to Desmond for making it safely into The Looking Glass. I can't open my eyes underwater so I would be absolutely useless. Once again, I hope I never am stranded on an island.

Oh yeah, isn't Americal Idol ending at some point? I wish a cross-network promotional stunt would find the Others kidnapping Blake and messing with his ovaries...or really just something horrible. I don't like him.


ACT FOUR Boo ya Kate! You chose Sawyer, you guys are perfectly miserable together, stop pining for Jack. That was a satisfying kiss. I think Jack and Juliet have great chemistry (cheesy boat trip ending of that tattoo episode aside) and they have been through H.E.L.L. And yes, Juliet, you do have to go back. You're a big part of the current problem. I'm glad she's taking responsibility and stepping up to the plate. With Sawyer. Who I have marked for death (nooo!). So...they go back and both die, that's my theory. Did I mention I love Charlie? He's doing great. If I didn't squeal, I'd probably be as downright annoying as he is being if I were captured (I'm never flying again so I won't risk being stranded somewhere). I love the seeds of distrust being planted all up in the Looking Glass. I don't know if Mikhail is going to trust Ben now or not, but apparently Bonnie or The Other Girl is like that lady in T3; a total killing machine. At least that's what I gathered by the "you'd already be dead" comment.

ACT FIVE Walt has a man voice now! Or one in the making...I guess forced perspective and baggy clothes hide aging on the island. I'm freaked out a bit right now. Locke sees lost losties a lot (Boone before this). I wonder if there's a connection or if Walt has a bigger purpose. Is he Jacob, maybe? A vessel for him? And Hurley! I've had weird feelings about him being evil or that he might betray the gang. I don't know why, he's been acting weird ever since his van episode. Now he's been turned away by Sawyer...oy vey! He looked so upset and I don't want him to do anything rash. I really really like Hurley; so far he's been the only honest-to-goodness nice guy on the show. By the way, Jack was a hardcore drug addict and loser back in the day. Does he want to save that chick's life so she'll marry him since it happened once before? And no guns. Great, Juliet, lying again. At least she's hilarious ("You screwing Jack yet?") and lying for the right reasons.

Halfway through the finale and no one is dead yet. I'm putting money (blog money) on Sawyer, Juliet, Bernard, Jinn, Desmond, Mikhail. THose were quickly made!

ACT SIX A middle-aged man with a cane and no sign of muscle mass has never looked that intimidating. Showdown of the series about to happen. Oh, and, KILL THE LOVE TRIANGLE! Ugh! I mean, yeah, we've all known Jack has had a hard-on for Kate since the first episode (sutures do that, you know) and yeah, I know it wasn't going to be easy for him to get over her. But like, he's fine with Juliet. She's fine with Sawyer. Now that he's dropped the L-Bomb, she's going to ditch Sawyer straight up (and since both he and Juliet are probably going to die...). Okay...maybe if they do die, Jack and Kate can hook up and all this will end. The casket is a total mystery, but he's stressed out enough to be strung out about it. Neither friend nor family with no visitors? Could it be Alvar Hanso? Would that be crazy?

ACT SEVEN I'm dead inside. I don't trust the deaths of Sayid, Bernard and Jinn until I see their bodies, but Ben looks like a goner. And Mikhail too. Oh I'm just exhausted, that was intense. I've never, television has never been like this. I like that Ben has a motive now though and really, can't trust Naomi. She fell from the sky. I remember that Ben did too. I just, wow....Sayid! Without Sayid these guys are really, really lost. It's totally possible that Tom killed the other survivors, I dunno. I'm kinda nauseous.

ACT EIGHT YES! I just, I love Hurley. That was one of the most unexpected and downright exhilirating rescues I've seen in a while. Yes, Sayid, you kill him with your FEET! That's right! Sayid is merciless! And Sawyer, oh Sawyer, thank you for coming back. "That's for taking the kid off the raft." I forgot how Tom was the face of evil for season two, how we all thought he was the head other. His possible foppishness aside, he deserves what he got. ESPECIALLY from Sawyer. I love a good call back and that was a good call back. So the death count is up to seven random others, both Looking Glass Girls, Mikhail (maybe), and...that's it so far. Not that shocking. I love that only a musician can enter in the code. Great. It is Charlie's destiny.

ACT NINE No! There are TEARS! There are tears in my EYES! No, curses! Charlie! No no no! Such a great character, this was the obvious thing darnit! You're supposed to shock me and kill someone else! I knew Mikhail wasn't dead; he better be now. And no, darnit no no no, not Penny's boat? Not Penny's boat! I can't stand this! Things are now going so wrong! And Hurley, who knows if he may betray all of them on the beach for a last minute switcheroo. I bet the last shocker will be that they are all captured and all of next season is the entire cast being held prisoner on that boat. I hate Naomi. And I hate that it looks like Ben is right. W. T. F. I'm not feeling well.

ACT TEN I wish I had posted this earlier because now I'm going to seem like a total liar, but I was wondering if we were seeing a flash forward. Yeah, this is on the level of Sidney Bristow waking up after being dead for two years, maybe even more shocking. I have a lot of faith in this show and I know they know what they're doing. I do think that the flashback formula was getting a bit stale. Still great, mind you, but it's nice to ditch it while they're still interesting. I'm only worried about what flashing forward does to the dramatic narrative of the show. For instance, we now know that Jack and Kate are absolutely safe until the very last episode (unless the island time ends up catching up with the flash forward time). That's a weird feeling since I was actually pretty sure Locke was going to shoot the bejeezus out of him. I'm also concerned about my own mental health, now that I'll be trying to juggle the past, present, and future all at once. Thanks, Lost, for assuming that I'm smart!

So that was that. An absolutely stellar season comes to a close with a full on amazing season finale and a trip to crazy town in the last five minutes. I'm actually upset at the lack of death. I got emotionally toyed with for two hours, yes, but only one death to show for it. Cuse and Lindelof have really set the bar high now. Keeping dramatic tension when we know that they get off the island and that future flash forwards, if handled like the flashbacks, are going to guarantee the safety of everyone they touch. This show is approaching a shark and it's going to absolutely insane to see what they do with that shark next season. I hope they plow through it because I would hate for Lost to jump it.

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Catch-22"

TEASER It really, really sucks to be Desmond. He goes from being a slave to a button that 'saves the world' to being a slave to visions that save a washed up (but lovable...sometimes) rock star. I don't even remember when that cable was first found, season one maybe? Darn you, writers of Lost, and your sharp memories! You don't forget anything! Keep that up.

ACT ONE BRIAN K. VAUGHAN. Just today I was wondering when Vaughan, the greatest and most consistently genius comic writer of the past ten years, was going to make his debut. Bada-bing, here it is. This, wow. I have a weird sense of pride, like, my lil' comic writer is all grown up and fending for himself in the big bad world of TV. TV writers often go to comics and boy-oh-boy are those results mixed....and delayed (Lost's own Damon Lindelof tried to write Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine, and it's been over a year and a half since #2 came out...where's #3?). But comic writers hardly ever go to TV and I can't think of a real track record outside of Jeph Loeb, who himself was a story editor last season on this show. Also, we know why Desmond calls everyone 'brother,' so that's cool. Although, no clue how him being a monk or whatever fits in with his back story. And I swear, if I have to lose both Sanjaya AND Charlie tonight? No. I can't deal with that.

ACT TWO Lots of people doing things for selfish reasons. It seems that Desmond doesn't care about Charlie's life, so long as he gets Penny back. Kate doesn't really care if she hurts Sawyer, just so long as she can make the hurt of seeing Jack and Juliet together go away. The show has done a swell job of making me genuinely want a Kate/Jack or Kate/Sawyer relationship, but seeing how she's acting post-decision-for-Sawyer, I want neither. She's got too many issues and isn't good enough for either right now. Of course Juliet is maybe evil so she's not good for Jack either. Geez, who knows. And I'm not so sure what just happened. Did the helicopter crash and someone eject? My bad reception isn't making this clear.

ACT THREE Okay, so the monk thing was pre-Penny and shows that Desmond is willing to make sacrifices in order to go after what he considers to be more important. I was skeptical about the pilot actually being Penny, but that bookmark makes me think differently. Maybe someone was borrowing her copy?

ACT FOUR So yay, Desmond has some sorta conscience, but the look Charlie just gave him makes me think Des isn't getting off so easy.

ACT FIVE Okay conclusion, except I'm kinda mad that the pilot is someone we don't know. I knew it wasn't going to be Penny, too easy. I thought maybe it was going to be the woman Des left at the altar, but no clue as to why she would have that picture in the book. Now it's someone even Desmond doesn't know, and we have no idea why she has that picture. Maybe she was sent by Penny? I assume so. Eh, okay. Not a strong conclusion.

MY SCORE: *** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Exposé"

TEASER: "Who the hell is Nikki" Exactly. It looks like the character we've spent most of a season unsure of even her name is dead. Just as she gets a backstory. The catch phrase "razzle dazzle" was hilarious and makes me really question Australian television. Is Paolo next? Oh, and Billy Dee! Genius!

ACT ONE: Great episode in the making, I can feel it. I love seeing these two no-names when the plane crashed. So great to go back and see how this all began, how horrific yet simple it was. I also like the toss in of "I hope we don't end up like them" when talking about Shannon and Boone. Nikki and Paolo were initially uninteresting and fought uselessness while alive and ended up dead, just like their pretty predecessors. Ah! And Artz! I'm so glad to see him again!

ACT TWO: I like the Greatest Hits flashbacks plus they're doing a great job of explaining why we never saw Nikki and Paolo before season three. I love how they hung out with Artz, whose best moment was talking about how there were other survivors than just the dozen that got the spotlight in season one. Hurley's line about the bad guy who was a mystery until the fourth season sounded a little forced, could this be a big hint?

ACT THREE: Paolo was known to me as Bathroom Guy because of that one scene earlier in the season in "The Cost of Living." Now we know why the bathroom was important; he hid $8 million in it. The episode does have a bit of Forrest Gump to it, these two no-names visiting all the crucial turning points of the series before the rest of the cast (the plane, the Pearl Station, Ben and Juliet), but the bit about the toilet lets me know that they thought this far ahead to some degree. Genius.

ACT FOUR: Glad that Charlie's come clean. It's a step in the right direction after that nearly fatal-for-his-character move. I'm sure this'll lead to a "stay away from my baby!" from Claire if she finds out.

ACT FIVE: Holy crap! Perfect! "Paolo lies" and "paralyzed" are so close! How...I can't even think of how they came across that! I want commentary now! All the mysteries of this episode are solved and tied up, something I was afraid wouldn't be done. I'm shocked, really, but both Nikki and Paolo were pretty despicable people. They got what they deserved, I guess, and that's what the island does.

Overall this is a great episode, the only problem is that it was pretty seperate from the main story. Much like Nikki and Paolo, actually. That may have been the point. Really, this is exactly the type of episode that those two deserved after spending all of season 3 in the shadows being useless. They died as they lived, alone and apart from the others. The main cast can't eulogize them and then they bury them alive; perhaps if they were closer friends with Nikki and Paolo all along they would have known more about Arzt's bugs, been able to understand Nikki's final words (they weren't "Paolo lies" or "powerlines"), or gone looking for them that morning. But no, both of their deaths, while really murder at the hands of Sawyer, Hurley and Charlie, were total accidents and their own doing. This was a great little detour from the main drama and a reminder of what made the show great back in season one.

MY SCORE: ***** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Par Avion"

TEASER: A Claire episode! Finally! For some reason, and I'm alone on this, I'm totally into Charlie and Claire. Maybe it's because Claire's season one episode was the moment I realized taht this show was genius. I like that Locke points out to Sayid that the whole C-4 aspect of the bunker was not shared. See? Sharing info helps. Not sure what Claire's going on about with those birds, but it looks like Desmond saved Charlie again.

ACT ONE: "The John Locke I knew was para--!" Eye Patch is seriously menacing! And I have sympathy for Rousseau now. Crazy, but so tragic. I'm interested in Claire's story, plus it is really sucky that Charlie has to screw things up with her to live. Of course, he could just tell her everything...

ACT TWO: Locke is with the Others and Claire is Jack's half-sister. I've thought that for a while and now that Claire's mom is paid for by someone myserious, betting it's Mr. Shepard. But why is Claire so weird about her mom? And Patch Eye's death was crazy gross, but I was expecting his head to explode, so it could have been nastier. If Locke isn't evil, then he's just the Screech/Urkel of the show.

ACT THREE: Called it! Called it A YEAR AGO (episode where Ana Lucia died)! Ha! Now if only Claire was ever in a scene with Jack, maybe this would come up. And man, Sayid is on to Locke. Locke's gone from a great character to a nutjob and now a saboteur. I wonder if Terry O'Quinn likes playing this character still after the downward spiral he's been on?

ACT FOUR: So Claire doesn't know her dad's name. Oh well. Here's hoping Jack gets the hots for her, leading to the best romance since Luke and Leia. Desmond coming clean to Claire is a good thing, just hwo knows if she'll believe him and what it'll do to her and Charlie. Seriously, Lost, why isn't htat new girl or Rodrigo whatchamacallit in this episode? If they showed up more often and DID THINGS maybe we'd accept them as new characters. As it is, I still don't even know their names.

ACT FIVE: Ah! Geez, what's up with Jack?! I never thought I'd want a Jack episode, but what's happened to him in the last couple days?! The last act sealed it; I really like Claire and her hospital scene got to me. Ugh, so sad. And I'm glad that the truth has brought her and Charlie together, even if it seems like being with her is going to kill him.

So excited for next week. All Locke and he has lots of explaining to do.

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Enter 77"

TEASER: Cows! I totally forgot about Patch Eye; just shows how much stuff this show tosses at you. Four minutes in and I already hope this is the episode that Sawyer kills New Guy. Nothing wrong with him except for his uselessness and shoehorning in. How is it a good idea to stick this new guy in every episode and...give him nothing to do? Seriously, I'd rather have Boone than Hispanic Boone.

ACT ONE: Last living member? Is he telling the truth? Are the Others others even to Dharma? One thing for sure, THANK GOD these people ACTUALLY TALKED TO SOMEONE! Yes! Asking questions gives answers! And that look New Guy gave at the ping pong table leads me to believe he may be a ping pong champ. Useless no more?

ACT TWO: Looks like Lindelof & Cuse decided to give the fans something to talk about. A whole scene where a mysterious figure actually talks, answers questions, and does so without causing our heads to explode by unveiling more mysteries. If it's all true, the Others/hostiles have nothing to do with Dharma, which means we both know more about them and less about them. Only on Lost. Oh, but Sayid thinks Patch Eye is lying and we all know how right he was about Henry/Ben. Plus, Sayid's backstory is interesting. Fake names and food!

ACT THREE: Get some rope!! Man, I missed Sayid. And it looks like all the stuff we learned may be false. Oh well, the writers are still on the right track. Maybe next time an info dump will actually be relevant. Sayid's backstory is pretty good, although I can't remember if we've seen an atoning story with him. So much atoning on this show. Oh, and New Guy doesn't even play ping pong. What the heck, Lost?! This guy needs a reason for being ASAP!

ACT FOUR: Hanso talks about the hostiles! That means they're real and Patch Eye may have been truthful! Yay somewhat solved mysteries! Oh, and Locke is the worst guard. Ever. He's distracted way easily. "Ooooh computer chess!" "Ooooh paternal figure!" And poor Ms. Klugh! I'll be searching the internet for that translation soon.

ACT FIVE: A backstory that fits with the current story! Awesome! Of course the building gets blown up and thus destroys contact with the outside world. I'm just glad Kate and Locke weren't in there, thus leading to a lame "they're dead but we all know better" story that would stretch on for a while, with no one telling anyone else that the other party is alive / dead / captured / whatever. And yes, everything Patch Eye said...is true. This is a good feeling. Me likey.

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Stranger In A Strange Land"

TEASER: Gee whiz already, we're not 10 seconds into the episode and Kate starts up the love triangle again with her whining about going back for Jack. Listen! You chose Sawyer! Jack's flashbacks suck! Give it a rest and stick with Sawyer for more than one episode, or are you now thinking you should have sex with Jack just to make sure. And I dunno, Tom, it seems to me like The Others have been screwing with our castaways a lot more than the castaways have with them. Juliet's a prisoner now, taking Jack's place? And what's up with the Cyndi Lauper looking lady? Creepy.

ACT ONE: Maybe since I don't see a hospital, this Jack flashback won't suck. It does, however, feature what I'm sure is an Asian prostitute with crimped hair and The World's Flimsiest Top. That kid Sawyer and Kate got stuck with is super annoying. I hope they get to the rest of the group, I really don't want a love triangle forming between Kate, Sawyer, and Sweaty Brainwashed Other Guy. Juliet needs a favor again...I think she has totally misjudged Jack's perception of her. Yeah, I love her and I think the viewing audience as a whole does, but Jack doesn't have any reason to trust her. All she's done to him is go back and forth on decisions and, hey, she is an Other. This whole "Juliet in prison" thing could be a trick.

ACT TWO: I remember the creators of the show talking about Jack's tattoo back in the commentary to an episode from season one, saying that it would factor in at some point and that there is meaning behind it. I've been wondering about this ever since. I want this solved tonight. As boring as Jack is, there's something about captive Jack that has made his character a lot more interesting this season. As a viewer, I'm wary and pretty much always mad at The Others. Jack is my vehicle for that hatred. He acts on it, he scoffs at The Others, he's difficult for difficult's sake. It's a nice and logical evolution of his boy scout character (oh how boring he was). And the second bit of flashback featured more ho and less ho-spital. I like that.

ACT THREE: I don't know if I've ever been as physically repulsed by a character as I am by Jack's Ho. She tastes salty? She has problems that he can't even begin to understand? No more questions? Real winner, Jack. Nice to see Cindy again, even though we still have no clue what's going on with them. I guess it's safe to say that she doesn't mind it with The Others? I'm enjoying Sally Slingshot more and more, but I have to wonder if she really is Ben's daughter. Did Rousseau have a husband/dude before the island? I can't remember what the specifics were about her team. And Jack feels guilty. Boy scout.

ACT FOUR: Yeah Ethan was a surgeon, but he was also a grade A sociopath. So...not bummed about his death. While the meaning given behind Jack's tattoo makes sense, it totally doesn't really mean that and what were the consequences? Did he crash on the island in order to become the leader and great man his tattoo brands him as? If he didn't get the tattoo would he remain undefined and therefore island-free? Does outwardly defining ourselves affect how we live our lives and how things affect us? Now Juliet's getting a mark and no one seems to thrilled about it. Oh geez.

ACT FIVE: So it was only part of his tattoo, hmmm...and still not sure what custom she was breaking. A no-caucasians served rule? I'm totally for a Juliet and Jack relationship now. Sure, she may totally be using him to get back to her sick sister and niece/nephew (?), but that aloe scene was touching. Seriously, Kate and Sawyer had better not turn into Buffy and Angel. I don't want a whole season of are they or aren't they in love. Darnit! Pick one! And that ending on the boat, totally cheesy.

MY SCORE: *** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Flashes Before Your Eyes"

TEASER: "That guy? He sees the future, dude." I love Hurley and his dude-isms. Eko just died? That's crazy! A huge hiatus will completely make you forget things like that. And yeah, I totally thought Claire was a goner for a split second. Curse you, Lost, and your unpredictability! And Charlie may be annoying sometimes, but goshdarnit if he isn't one of the most consistent and well-rounded characters. His insistance on helping Desmond with Claire even though there was nothing he could do was a great lil' touch. I missed this side of the island.

ACT ONE: Where did Claire get them bangs? Is there a Dramatics hair salon on the island? Or maybe getting swept away by that undertow gave her a new do. And Desmond's flashback, that opening shot was brilliant. Oh, and the episode is a Drew Goddard/Damon Lindelof episode. Anything Goddard touches is gold...except for that episode of Angel set on the submarine. That was horrid.

ACT TWO: Wow. Okay. DriveShaft's Oasis connection is now fact. Oh, and this is also an awesome premise. Seeing Penny's dad's rejection of Desmond was crazy intense and well written (hello, Goddard and Lindelof). I'm excited to see where this setup goes. I never would have thought Desmond would become one of the better or more compelling characters on the show.

ACT THREE: What the?! I...okay, I thought this was an alternate reality, then the past, then an alternate version of the past, and now it's a crazy purgatory or a Truman Show esque deal. I thought all that in the course of an act. That's how good this show is. I'm pretty creeped out by this. The premise of getting to relive your life is such a good one, mainly because everyone would seriously consider the opportunity to do so. I would love to go back to 3rd grade and one up all the kids that picked on me with my big(ger) words and knowledge of adult matters.

ACT FOUR: This show's mythology keeps getting more and more grand. After hearing Old Lady's monologue, I have to wonder if Desmond is now part of a subspecies of humans who can predict the future. If some traumatic event occurs even off the island that does this to people. If the real woman in Desmond's real past would have reacted the same way if Desmond had initially bought the ring. All these questions! Oh, and Claire is the guy in the red shoes. Desmond's saved her twice leading me to believe that it's her time to go. This links in with her "raised by another" episode back in season one, especially since only Sun and Charlie were seen holding Aaron in this episode. Looks like he's already being raised by another, or others. But not The Others...yet. What if it was "raised by an other" instead of "raised by another"?

ACT FIVE: Oh SNAP! Ha! I was right and so wrong at the same time! This is why I love this show. It can spend an entire episode in flashback but because the character of Desmond is so strong, it can sustain. A whole episode in Jack's flashback? Bore. Charlie's? Sorry, I don't watch "Behind the Music" anymore. This? Crazy innovative and great. Too bad Charlie is getting X'd. He's had so much crap dumped on him...most of it his own doing, but still.

Next week looks great. I've been wondering what happened to all the kidnapped survivors, it all looks pretty Planet of the Apes to me.

MY SCORE: ***** (out of 5)

TV: Lost "Not In Portland"

SPOILER ALERT! I BLAB EVERY SINGLE IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THE EPISODE! IF YOU ARE ANYTHING LIKE ME, BEWARE OF THIS POST UNTIL YOU WATCH THE SHOW!

TEASER: Okay, I'm already sucked back in. A couple minutes and I'm already talking to the TV and overreacting. Sawyer giving that Other Guy his was definitely a cheer-moment. And what's the deal with Juliet in Miami with her sister...and Ethan Rom?! What?! Are the Others connected pre-island like our castaways? And is Juliet evil now? AAHH! Great music during the commercials. "I Gotta Move" by the Kinks and that hilarious Of Montreal "Let's go Outback tonight" jingle.

ACT ONE: Yeah, lots more screaming at the TV. I can't think of any other show that manipulates a veiwer's adrenaline as much as Lost. This may just be me, I get waaay too into this. Juliet's divorced just like every other character on the show, it seems. Come on, where's a successful marriage (and Sun and Jin just started being one, and all that could blow up when that baby comes out speaking perfect English...um)? And ex-hubby saying "get the lights", BURN! Thank God "Sheena" was there, and where does Sawyer learn all these geekisms? It's like he has someone writing his dialogue...

ACT TWO: "Underdog." Okay, Sawyer, you're a closet nerd. Know what a gundark is? Ben has history with Juliet, too. Hmm, wonder what that is? And Juliet was doing criminal stuff back home perhaps; is she on the right side of the island or should she be hanging out with our buddies the criminals over at the crash site? Hopefully the history is a lot dirtier than just being book club pals. "My name's Tom." Great, what a time to introduce yourself. And where are the other castaways? Is Claire still alive? I think Jack's tattoo has had more screen time than her this season.

ACT THREE: "Wookiee prisoner gag." Wow, I think Sawyer grew up without friends and inserted himself into his own Star Wars fanfic. Also, Alex's boyfriend Carl...getting brainwashed into, well, I have no idea what all of that meant. I guess it's just the effect of jibbajabba and Brazilian techno. And Carl? Seriously, lowered expectations on that island. A girl like Alex wouldn't be shaking up with Carl unless they were both stranded on an island fighting in a resistance movement...good thing for him they are. Alex also called Ben her dad and since I think it's more likely Ben did it with Juliet than bats-in-the-belfry Rousseau, I'm thinking adoption. And Juliet totally turned down the guy from Suddenly Susan, much like every other girl in the Los Angeles area since that show ended. Shaping up to be a pretty good episode.

ACT FOUR: Two deaths in one act. Dang. The first one was very Mean Girls but, I'm guessing, a lot more fatal. The second was enjoyable. Danny (I just figured out his name) deserved getting put down like a dog by Juliet. Oh, and she totally belongs with our gang. Too bad she couldn't meet Ana-Lucia, the two of them could go hunting together. And Jack! Bungling the operation just as Tom was about to say something profound...maybe profound! Oh well...

ACT FIVE: Jack is officially using life or death circumstances to win Kate back after seeing her with Sawyer. First, making her tell him the story that has helped her out a couple times...and then making her promise to never come back. Oh, what a web you weave, Jack! But Ben is weaving one too; he's handing out "Get Off Island" gift cards to everyone who'll help him out. Is he for real? And Suddenly Susan ran over Juliet's ex, or Ethan Rom did. That's crazy. The Others sure have a thing about fertility...

NEXT WEEK: Well, Claire gets at least one line and I saw most everyone else's faces. Looks well-rounded. And Kate's going back for Jack. Duh. I don't think her and Sawyer will be making a love hut anytime soon.

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)

TV: Thursday Night

"Ben Franklin"
I would have never guessed that the US version of The Office would reach such heights after watching the copycat pilot. Over the last 43 episodes, this show assembled the largest and tightest cast of characters and managed to stretch the office-love drama three times as long as its UK predecessor. I can't think of any show on the air right now that constantly puts me on such an emotional rollercoaster (but Lost comes back Wednesday, so that'll change). I go from laughing hysterically to Michael saying that the stripper probably has a "boyfriend in jail" to laughing awkwardly at Michael showing his unborn son how to take a bra off a girl...that is actually Dwight, to being completely moved by Roy's admission of finding Pam's art sexy, to wincing at Karen and Pam's awkward lunch-room state of the union convo. This was one of the best episodes of the season, even if it didn't feature new regular Ed Helms (who has become a standout this year). I can't wait for Phyllis' wedding, and I really hope Meredith gets trashed and punches Angela. Awesome.

MY SCORE: ***** (out of 5)


"His Story IV"
I'm a recent fan of Scrubs, so I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to review this show. I've seen the majority of the last two seasons and caught a dozen episodes of the previous four years. It's a good show and I've always noticed how it manages to balance serious issues with comedy. Tonight the show did just that; an entire episode dedicated to the war in Iraq and its polarizing effect on people. Wow. I was really impressed by the show's somewhat even depiction of both arguments and laughed out loud at the horny Republican sex scene. This is a great little show that I will catch up with on NetFlix at some point. Sometimes I feel that the show goes too far with it's gags (I loathe Family Guy for doing an extreme version of this), but the amazing character interactions that go along with the gags make them tolerable.

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)

"Black Tie"
Can I start my love fest for this show? This is the best first season of a comedy series since Arrested Development. Every week, the show improves and finds its voice. Tina Fey has proven herself to be great comedienne and Alec Baldwin, well, strangers are tossing awards at him now. I feel like this show is The Little Sitcom That Could. It has retro music, an opening title sequence, crazy capers, all done with mischievous grin and a "look what we're getting away with!" wink. Tonight, Paul Reubens guest starred as a paralyzed-drooling-molt bucket of an inbred foreign prince who falls for Jenna. On top of that Isabella Rossellini gives an Emmy worthy performance as Jack's ex-wife. Her assault on Liz upon finding out she's "engaged to Jack" was hilarious, the highlight being the stripping of Liz and the breaking of the champagne bottle. And Kenneth and Tracy prove, once again, to be great comedic foils. Their role as angel and devil to Pete was well done and gave Tracy a great line ("I'm just looking for the lobby!"). I love this show. In a perfect world, it'll get an Emmy nod and win.

MY SCORE: ***** (out of 5)

TV: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip "The Harriet Dinner"

Oh well. Last week saw Studio 60 do an about face and go giddily towards the land of primetime soap, much to my surprise and delight. This week follows that episode up with something odd. It's not as much fun as last week and it's not as serious as before. It's just here.

There really wasn't anything tonight to get excited over. Things are progressing in a predictble fashion. As soon as Matt tells Tom to lie to Lucy, you know it's going to end poorly. Similarly, Danny getting locked on the roof with Jordan? Come on. And a loose snake to boot. Animals on the run and getting locked out; I think Sorkin is now resorting to stock plots from Full House. Next week Jordan goes into labor during a Flintstones sketch and Simon, dressed as Fred, has to get his appendix out. I also hear Andrea Barber is going to host a future episode.

Still, not that tonight wasn't enjoyable. The actors are all top notch and the characters, while they've started to suffer from Sorkin's ton-o-dialogue, are still relatable. My heart was breaking a bit when Lucy saw Tom. Don't hurt Dawn! Especially you, Tom, who I don't find funny at all. It's weird that I can see Nate Corddry as a sketch comedian but not Tom Jeter. Tom is just wishy washy, dull, and too fact oriented for me to take seriously as a guy who is not serious for a living. Liven the guy up! I have this problem with the entire "cast," actually. Aside from D.L. Hughley, the rest of them act as serious as the execs. Fix that.

And come on, that Mick Jagger movie looks like crap on a stick. I thought Harriet might have been involved in a modestly budgeted porn for a second.

MY SCORE: *** (out of 5)

TV: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip "Monday"

Not a lot has changed on the TV landscape since the last Studio 60 a month and a half ago, but with 11 more episodes in the season (merciful NBC) and stagnant ratings along with tone, Studio 60 returns tonight a changed show.

And I liked it. Even if the changes were crazy obvious.

Mr. Sorkin has, from my knowledge, always been anti-personal stories. At least that's what I remember his statement being back when Amanda Peet's pregnancy first became public. The guy who said "this show focuses only on business" just got handed a pregnancy that had to either be answered with lots of flowy coats and tight shots or, gasp, a dive into the personal story pool.

And tonight Sorkin dove right in. Straight in the deep end. The man is drowning.

Danny loves Jordan (stalky!), Matt loves Harriet (obvious!), Tom loves Lucy (huh?), it's all new territory for the show and tonight big advancements were made. I, for one, enjoy all three relationships and am glad that they're being pursued. After all the Big Issues the show obsessed over in it's first few weeks, it's a relief to see the show mellow out. 30 Rock is nearing genius because of its whimsical tone and I'm glad to see Studio 60 follow suit. Plus, any storyline that gives me more Lucy Davis (yay Dawn!) and the nickname Boss Sexy for Matthew Perry, I'm a fan of.

In a shocking guest appearance, Kurt Fuller plays an asshole in power. Just like on Alias and Desperate Housewives and pretty much anything else he's ever been on. Except Big Day. But I don't think anyone has seen Big Day to notice how he isn't playing an asshole in power. But he does it well.

So this is the new Studio 60, which seems to be borrowing a lot from the current soap-apalooza that's sweeping prime time. Never was this more evident than during Harriet and Jordan's gabfest (Harriet's making good on her agreement to be Jordan's friend) and the line of the night delivered by The New Head of Illiterate Programming, "there's another pretty girl at the dance and she's not pregnant." I've never yelled "oh snap!" during this show before. But that deserved it.

If Studio 60 is all about complicated love and sassy one-liners now, that's fine by me.

RATING: **** (out of 5)