We don't have no control, we're under control

Do you ever just have one of those weeks when your entire life gets turned upside-down? A status quo change on the level of Sidney taking down SD-6, Angel taking over Wolfram & Hart, or flash forwards becoming the new thing? That's what this week has been for me and I'm finding it all a little hard to take considering today is Valentine's Day.

On Monday I ended a phase in my life a bit prematurely...but it was necessary. That doesn't mean it's stopped hurting. Because it does. I've never caused that much drama and sadness before, in myself let alone someone else, and it's not easy to adjust to. I'm glad I have other things, positive and negative, to look forward to to take my mind off of this. Also, being able to hide status updates on Facebook is the best thing in the world related to the most useless application in the world.

On Tuesday I found out that you can get fired for doing everything that I wrote about a couple weeks ago. Okay, it's not really getting fired so much as getting dumped by my place of employment. It's not working out, I'm not having fun, all that stuff. All of which is true. I think if you know me you know that I love the X-Men, have issues with social interaction, and loathe my job. So this is the push I need to get another job, I just don't like that I'm not controlling when it happens. But yeah, if it was up to me I have no idea when it would be. And to be fair, I've been trying a lot harder at my job and have started doing many other tasks outside of my normal realm to try and be a better employee, not that any of this has really been noticed. I was actually told that my job isn't important. Can't wait to work here for six weeks with that comment hanging over my head.

If it wasn't for my friends, I don't think I would have been able to keep a solid grasp on my mind. To illustrate the depths of sadness I have fallen into, I listened to Neutral Milk Hotel's In The Aeroplane Over The Sea on the subway this morning and had to keep the tears back. And that's not even an album I really like all that much. My friends all jumped in immediately to help me on Tuesday, correcting my cover letter and giving me all sorts of leads and advice. If it wasn't for you guys I would be directionless and clueless and definitely wouldn't be able to muster the strength to blog (I apparently can muster up the strength to watch Flavor of Love 3). I called the six of us that met on Tuesday night at a diner to talk and vent our Friends, which was immediately met with ridicule and then morphed into an argument about which sad soul got stuck with being Joey (no one, we decided two Chandlers was better).

Another friend helping me out during this long and emotionally uncertain time is Room On Fire, the sophomore album by the Strokes. Everything about the album is important to me right now, from the tone of the guitar to the strained vocals, everything down to the feelings and memories each song conjures up. I bonded with this album while simultaneously bonding with three of the best friends I've ever had during one of the best times of my life, and that is something that enhances this album and makes it feel like home. The lyrics to the songs, particularly "What Ever Happened?," "Under Control," and "Automatic Stop," put my current feelings into words better than I ever could. Isn't that what the perfect album is supposed to do? Well, it's doing that.

I don't know what's coming up next and it terrifies me. I'm very much a creature of habit and a person who finds comfort in his own past. I constantly yearn for the days of yore, their blemishes and pains completely wiped away by my own nostalgia. One of the goals for 2008 is to have a four month stretch that at least matches the halcyon days of my Late Show internship and these changes are exactly what I need to accomplish this.

Also, if we haven't hung out in a while, give me a call. Odds are I miss you and would enjoy seeing you again. And we don't have to see improv, I swear. I can do other things.

Ear Pain

I've been suffering with my Apple earbuds ever since I got my iPod over three years ago. They fall out of my ear, can't handle bass well, get really stiff in the winter, and fall apart pretty easily (I'm on my third pair). They also don't get loud enough and never drown out the noise of the subway. I've never been a fan of them. I've been contemplating replacing them so I can squeeze all the juice from my music library orange (awesome metaphor! high five!). I finally did.

I bought JVC Marshmallow Soft Inner Ear headphones.


I chose the cool blue color because, well, I'm not going to use pink head phones. I was pretty stoked upon buying them and ripped them open as soon as I got back to work (I bought them on my lun-wait, don't get a lunch break). I read the instructions (they came with instructions! They contain so much power that I have to read before I can handle them!) and learned that I had to use my forefinger and thumb to press the marshmallow down before putting it in my ear, thus allowing it to expand inside and allow nothing but rock inside my brain. I was kinda cautious at the notion of having to touch them before putting them in my ear, knowing that that meant putting a vicious cocktail of NYC germs in my ear multiple times a day. Whatever.

I tested them out by playing The Go! Team, a band whose sonic adventures I was certain were being stifled by my crappy iPod earbuds. It sounded thin. And soft. And kinda tin canny. I fiddled with the settings on my iPod, changing the EQ from "rock" to "bass booster" and then "electronic." Not much of a change. I knew it wasn't a bit rate problem since I've been importing my songs at the highest bit rate as of late (I used to do 124 which sounds fine to me but, well, now I have the fear of having to re-import all my music if I ever start detecting sound loss). I had been told that the JVC had a pretty awesome bass sound that I was obviously not hearing, so I played "Umbrella" by Rihanna and set the EQ to "hip hop" (right?). Eh, okay. Nothing special.

I didn't touch them for the rest of the day, not out of disappointment, just due to lack of opportunities.

I merrily put them on this morning, eager to try other songs. I started off listening to the Roxy Music album "Country Life." All the songs sounded so sad, and not just "Bitter Sweet." "The Thrill of it All" sounded weak. Weak! No, that's not right! I told myself this had to be because the album is old and wasn't meant to be listened to on such high-tech headphones as my new $25 JVC Marshmallow headphones. Okay, fine, whatever. I then went back to listening to The Go! Team, whose songs sometimes purposefully sound poor so this did nothing to make or break my opinion on the headphones.

I needed something a little more melancholy and "Automatic Stop" by The Strokes seemed to be the answer. "If this doesn't sound good," I thought to myself, "these headphones are done for." If one of my favorite songs from one of my top 3 albums of all time doesn't sound pumped full of new blood by the millions of ear-bits and sound-modulators (or whatever is in fancy headphones) then these headphones are garbage. It sounded lame. Julian sounded so muffled. Okay, I told myself that this had to be because Julian has an effect on his voice for the first two Strokes albums and and and Fabrizio's drums were critiqued as sounding like sticks on cardboard (only for the song "The Way It Is" but I convinced myself that it could be possible for the rest of the album). I was subconsciously listening to old songs or songs with purposeful sound flaws so I could justify having spent $25 on headphones that may be worse than my earbuds.

I knew I had to put them to the ultimate test.

I had to listen to "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives.

Backtracking, "Tick Tick Boom" is a song that sounds like an entire angry gang of guitars are beating up your inner ear canal when you listen to it. The guitars cut through your ear wax like switchblades and the howls of Pelle sound like your own personal death cry; they go to your soul and make you feel completely helpless. That's what they sound like on my earbuds.

The song sounded like The Monkees on the TWENTY FIVE DOLLAR JVC headphones. And not stereo Monkees, mono Monkees.

Done. That's it. Over. I'm going back to the earbuds for whoever knows how much longer they'll last (the rubber around the speakers are starting to give already, ugh) and these headphones that cost more than a two DVD set of Roxy Music videos are being downgraded to my work computer only.

Geez.

October Music

Finally, seriously, after what has been way too long, it finally feels like October outside. Something about October always entrances me (I'm sitting indian style next to incense right now). The weather brings back memories of Halloween, fun school moments, and great music. More than smell, I'd say music triggers more memories than any other stimuli. When combined with the season appropriately, I get the max amount of enjoyment out of the music.

My two October albums were busted out today: Chutes Too Narrow by The Shins and Room On Fire by The Strokes. Released just weeks apart in late October, 2003, both of these albums became synonymous with driving around in my car, light coat on, as the leaves turned colors. Before getting an iPod a year later, I carried my disc man to school and listened to this music while studying in the library. October 2003 is also a great month because that's when me and my friends partied with Zach Galifianakis and discussed these two albums. Listening to them today (the first time for Chutes) in quite a while, I had a smile on my face. Nothing like listening to "You Talk Way Too Much" when it's nice and cold.

This isn't just October. The Masterplan by Oasis is my favorite Christmas album ever and it's not a summer without The La's self-titled debut.

I invite you all to think...what's your favorite October music?