Cash 4 Skulls

I can't believe I never posted this here. Here's Cash 4 Skulls, a commercial parody I shot with Laurel for my sketch 201 class show. Enjoy and share!

MPD

In college I participated in a debate on the pro-side of whether or not multiple personality disorder was real. I wish I had had this video at that time as it not only proves the existence of multiple personality disorder, but at least a dozen other mental disorders not yet catalogued.

What is with kids these days?

Over the last couple days I have been exposed to various Funny Internet Videos of kids being ridiculous. If the generation of kids born after the Friends sipped their first sip from their trendy big coffee mugs has not been named yet, I hereby dub them Generation YouTube (which is a moniker I'm sure a couple million other hip bloggers have used). All I'm saying is that the presidential election of 2028 is going to be full of candidates having to justify their retarded Mac Book or Windows Movie Maker creations to a nation screaming for answers.

Here are some main offenders.


The first four seconds of this video is straight up hilarious. The absurdity of the editing, the immaturity of his chair ettiquette, and the self-importance he feels to 'weigh in' on the death of Heath Ledger, an actor whose big break in 10 Things I Hate About You was released when this kid was learning how to color.


This one is even weirder, just because there's a speed setting issue on the camera that makes him sound like a gay southern chipmunk instead of just, well, a gay southern kid. Once again, why is this on the internet? Why does it have over 3 million views? Is this a joke? I see that the video was posted by a sketch group comprised of three kids aged 14-15. I feel kinda lazy now. And jealous of this group's odd success. Ugh. So many emotions.


Because everyone that sees a movie should critique it online. I would ask how this kid got into see Rambo, but after I saw a six year old girl take a potty break in the middle of Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem, all my preconceived notions of parental discretion went out the window.


I don't care, isn't this the best thing you've ever watched? And I've watched all of it. Multiple times. And not only did he post this one song, he's posted many songs. The guy has a hobby of videotaping himself singing songs in front of his computer. Who needs special effects when you have awesome purple drapes?

All four of these make me so extremely happy that YouTube did not exist when I was in 8th grade. The world does not need to see my homemade "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" and "Closing Time" music videos using various X-Men and Star Wars action figures.

This is on YouTube though, so at least my awkward teenage years are being represented.

YuleTube

Vince Guaraldi Trio "Christmas Time Is Here"


The Waitresses "Christmas Wrapping"


Brenda Lee "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"


Stan Francis "Jingle, Jingle, Jingle"


Burl Ives "A Holly Jolly Christmas"


Andy Williams "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"


Boris Karloff "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch"


Bing Crosby "White Christmas"


Alvin & The Chipmunks "The Chipmunk Song"

No Bro

This is from "Brohemian Rhapsody," an internet video.

This is not me on the couch.


Glad that's cleared up.

The Face Of Terror

My friend Ethan just wrote a blog about his phobias and, in an attempt to get back to blogging regularly, I've decided to blog about my biggest fear. The one thing that totally freaks me out and reduces me to tears.


Real aliens. Not fake aliens. Not cute aliens. Real, gray, Roswell-crashing, body-abducting, soulless, clinical beings that view us as nothing more than toys and insects, destroying lives and messing with our geneology with a devil may care attitude.

Did I just out myself as a crazy?

I don't know if this counts as a real phobia since I actively seek out information on aliens and purposely watch programs that feature real aliens (X-Files and the many FX, Fox, and History Channel documentaries). Arachnophobes don't surround themselves with spiders, but I force myself to look at aliens knowing the sheer discomfort they cause me.

This all originates in my childhood when I would only check out books from the supernatural section of the library. This little kid in the third grade constantly reading books about bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and, of course, aliens. And if those books didn't do it, then Unsovled Mysteries totally did. That show, that cursed show, combined the creepiness of Robert Stack with smoke machines and scary synth music to visually assault my little brain on a weekly basis with images of ghosts, monsters, and beings from beyond our galaxy. Yeah, they also had lost loves and stories about angels and that junk, but I only watched for the freak show. I tortured myself! I remember my mom comforting me one night, saying that the aliens might be like Chewbacca, and I like Chewbacca.

That might have worked then. It doesn't now.

I don't live in constant fear that I'm going to be abducted, that we're going to be colonized, blah blah, I'm not really a conspiracy theorist. I don't even know how solid my pro-Roswell convictions are (they've never been tested by a Scully-esque lady) and I've never experienced anything remotely bizarre...ever. But I just don't buy that the aliens are good or that they are here to help us after reading and researching and watching countless interviews with abductees. And yes, I have done that. In my speech class in college, I did a persuasive speech about why people should be open to the idea of extraterrestrials. I also did speeches about how to collect comics and why people should watch better TV. My teacher asked me to join the debate team, no joke.

The picture above comes from one of the more disturbing alien videos I've seen. It's a video between a government official and a captive alien. Towards the end of the video, the alien starts having some sort of medical emergency and medics rush in to help. It freaks me out.



I also can't watch Signs.

10% Luck, 20% Skill

You name it, there's a superfan community for it. Sports teams, bands, television shows, all of them have massive cult followings with their own rules and politics. I myself have, since getting AOL in the 9th grade, been a part of many online communities: The Phantom Menace, X-Men, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, and The Features. Under the best circumstances, these online communities only peripherally involve the topic of obsession. The Features message board rarely discussed the band, instead acting as an intelligent forum to discuss the happenings of Nashville and popular culture. The scarier ones I've been to involved making complicated signatures (o-[[[[[]]]\=========================) and creating fan fiction placing the more veteran members of the board into roles in television series (like a Jedi spin off of X-Files).

Online fandom has always fascinated me and, as a recovering MB addict, I can relate to the crushing feeling of importance that the poor souls involved feel. Seriously, if you've ever demanded someone's IP address looked up to determine whether or not they were a real person, I'm proof that there is hope for you.

A couple months ago, my co-worker Todd stumbled across this video. The owner disabled embedding. Wisely, because this would surely be linked everywhere in an attempt to spread the joy of the cheetah. The video is even better when you imagine that it's actually a cheetah rapping about spitting fire, women wanting him, not needing his name up in lights, and knowing the code. It's all about making some noise when you're a cheetah.

But the animal madness does not stop there.

Seriously. People. There is a community of people who get joy out of editing nature footage together to techno/rap songs, celebrating their favorite animals. The comments range from people restating the facts from the video as a compliment to wondering where the music came from. Apparently, the video above is "one of the best cheetah videos out here." Did anyone think there was more than one cheetah video on youtube, let alone many for this one cheetah fan to declare that this is just one of the best?

But vitalioness14 did not stop there.

This is one of the best videos about cheetahs wanting people and/or things to get off of their backs. The author herself (?) writes "These cheetahs are tired of being bothered and they just want us all to get off of their back! This was SO fun to make, and I worked really hard on it, so please keep your comments and ratings friendly!" All that is perfectly encapsulated in the Bryan Adams song playing over it.

Cheetahs aren't the only animal that get immortalized by Windows Movie Maker. Here, experiment900 tells it like it is. He wants people to stop hating on hyenas and start jamming to some P.O.D. Yet again, hilarious if you picture the lyrics from the hyenas point of view.

So, you're welcome for being introduced to this truly fascinating subspecies of YouTube user. Feel free to click around and browse their other videos. I saw some videos about lions that I may need to take a gander at.

In the mean time, I'll be stockpiling my footage of meerkats to combine with "Life Is A Highway."

Nutz For Knut

I usually don't care about cutesy-wootsy stuff. I usually don't give a flying fig. Yeah, your baby bulldog is cute. Whatev. Let me read Uncanny X-Men #334. Sure, that kitty is cute, all mischievously peeping out from the toilet bowl that she has so playfully slipped in. Bored now. But Knut? The first polar bear cub born in captivity in Germany in 30 years? The surviving twin that was left for dead by a former circus bear (the bear equivalent of white trash) turned mother? Knut, the German celebrity who gets weekly updates on the news and is drawing fire from animal rights peeps who think his domestication can't lead to anything good? This darn polar bear gets me.