2/6/08

Ear Pain

I've been suffering with my Apple earbuds ever since I got my iPod over three years ago. They fall out of my ear, can't handle bass well, get really stiff in the winter, and fall apart pretty easily (I'm on my third pair). They also don't get loud enough and never drown out the noise of the subway. I've never been a fan of them. I've been contemplating replacing them so I can squeeze all the juice from my music library orange (awesome metaphor! high five!). I finally did.

I bought JVC Marshmallow Soft Inner Ear headphones.


I chose the cool blue color because, well, I'm not going to use pink head phones. I was pretty stoked upon buying them and ripped them open as soon as I got back to work (I bought them on my lun-wait, don't get a lunch break). I read the instructions (they came with instructions! They contain so much power that I have to read before I can handle them!) and learned that I had to use my forefinger and thumb to press the marshmallow down before putting it in my ear, thus allowing it to expand inside and allow nothing but rock inside my brain. I was kinda cautious at the notion of having to touch them before putting them in my ear, knowing that that meant putting a vicious cocktail of NYC germs in my ear multiple times a day. Whatever.

I tested them out by playing The Go! Team, a band whose sonic adventures I was certain were being stifled by my crappy iPod earbuds. It sounded thin. And soft. And kinda tin canny. I fiddled with the settings on my iPod, changing the EQ from "rock" to "bass booster" and then "electronic." Not much of a change. I knew it wasn't a bit rate problem since I've been importing my songs at the highest bit rate as of late (I used to do 124 which sounds fine to me but, well, now I have the fear of having to re-import all my music if I ever start detecting sound loss). I had been told that the JVC had a pretty awesome bass sound that I was obviously not hearing, so I played "Umbrella" by Rihanna and set the EQ to "hip hop" (right?). Eh, okay. Nothing special.

I didn't touch them for the rest of the day, not out of disappointment, just due to lack of opportunities.

I merrily put them on this morning, eager to try other songs. I started off listening to the Roxy Music album "Country Life." All the songs sounded so sad, and not just "Bitter Sweet." "The Thrill of it All" sounded weak. Weak! No, that's not right! I told myself this had to be because the album is old and wasn't meant to be listened to on such high-tech headphones as my new $25 JVC Marshmallow headphones. Okay, fine, whatever. I then went back to listening to The Go! Team, whose songs sometimes purposefully sound poor so this did nothing to make or break my opinion on the headphones.

I needed something a little more melancholy and "Automatic Stop" by The Strokes seemed to be the answer. "If this doesn't sound good," I thought to myself, "these headphones are done for." If one of my favorite songs from one of my top 3 albums of all time doesn't sound pumped full of new blood by the millions of ear-bits and sound-modulators (or whatever is in fancy headphones) then these headphones are garbage. It sounded lame. Julian sounded so muffled. Okay, I told myself that this had to be because Julian has an effect on his voice for the first two Strokes albums and and and Fabrizio's drums were critiqued as sounding like sticks on cardboard (only for the song "The Way It Is" but I convinced myself that it could be possible for the rest of the album). I was subconsciously listening to old songs or songs with purposeful sound flaws so I could justify having spent $25 on headphones that may be worse than my earbuds.

I knew I had to put them to the ultimate test.

I had to listen to "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives.

Backtracking, "Tick Tick Boom" is a song that sounds like an entire angry gang of guitars are beating up your inner ear canal when you listen to it. The guitars cut through your ear wax like switchblades and the howls of Pelle sound like your own personal death cry; they go to your soul and make you feel completely helpless. That's what they sound like on my earbuds.

The song sounded like The Monkees on the TWENTY FIVE DOLLAR JVC headphones. And not stereo Monkees, mono Monkees.

Done. That's it. Over. I'm going back to the earbuds for whoever knows how much longer they'll last (the rubber around the speakers are starting to give already, ugh) and these headphones that cost more than a two DVD set of Roxy Music videos are being downgraded to my work computer only.

Geez.

1 comment:

ruby sneakers said...

1) turn off your equalizer on your ipod.

you need to let the buds burn-in for a few hours before you can judge what they sound like. put on a playlist on your home computer and leave the buds plugged in at a high volume for a few hours. i've never had to do it too long for mine, but i have heard anywhere from 6-8 hours will do.
ALSO you need to make sure you are putting them far enough into your ears. if they are are just sitting on the outer part of your ear like a regular bud, you're doing it wrong. they should go all the way in. push them in until they 'seal' and outside noise becomes significantly muffled.
they are great sounding headphones, my friend, and if you don't agree you've been listening on shitty ipod buds for too long, and should return your audiophile membership card, stat.

BURNSAUCE.

seriously though, let them burn in. i've never needed a long burn in time for mine though, so maybe you can try mine out and see if your pair is just faulty.

if STILL you don't like these after trying these steps, i don't think you'd like any of the higher end in-ear brands i could recommend, so i'd tell you should use over-the-ear can models. sennheiser makes some good ones in the $40-$50 range.