TV: Lost "Stranger In A Strange Land"

TEASER: Gee whiz already, we're not 10 seconds into the episode and Kate starts up the love triangle again with her whining about going back for Jack. Listen! You chose Sawyer! Jack's flashbacks suck! Give it a rest and stick with Sawyer for more than one episode, or are you now thinking you should have sex with Jack just to make sure. And I dunno, Tom, it seems to me like The Others have been screwing with our castaways a lot more than the castaways have with them. Juliet's a prisoner now, taking Jack's place? And what's up with the Cyndi Lauper looking lady? Creepy.

ACT ONE: Maybe since I don't see a hospital, this Jack flashback won't suck. It does, however, feature what I'm sure is an Asian prostitute with crimped hair and The World's Flimsiest Top. That kid Sawyer and Kate got stuck with is super annoying. I hope they get to the rest of the group, I really don't want a love triangle forming between Kate, Sawyer, and Sweaty Brainwashed Other Guy. Juliet needs a favor again...I think she has totally misjudged Jack's perception of her. Yeah, I love her and I think the viewing audience as a whole does, but Jack doesn't have any reason to trust her. All she's done to him is go back and forth on decisions and, hey, she is an Other. This whole "Juliet in prison" thing could be a trick.

ACT TWO: I remember the creators of the show talking about Jack's tattoo back in the commentary to an episode from season one, saying that it would factor in at some point and that there is meaning behind it. I've been wondering about this ever since. I want this solved tonight. As boring as Jack is, there's something about captive Jack that has made his character a lot more interesting this season. As a viewer, I'm wary and pretty much always mad at The Others. Jack is my vehicle for that hatred. He acts on it, he scoffs at The Others, he's difficult for difficult's sake. It's a nice and logical evolution of his boy scout character (oh how boring he was). And the second bit of flashback featured more ho and less ho-spital. I like that.

ACT THREE: I don't know if I've ever been as physically repulsed by a character as I am by Jack's Ho. She tastes salty? She has problems that he can't even begin to understand? No more questions? Real winner, Jack. Nice to see Cindy again, even though we still have no clue what's going on with them. I guess it's safe to say that she doesn't mind it with The Others? I'm enjoying Sally Slingshot more and more, but I have to wonder if she really is Ben's daughter. Did Rousseau have a husband/dude before the island? I can't remember what the specifics were about her team. And Jack feels guilty. Boy scout.

ACT FOUR: Yeah Ethan was a surgeon, but he was also a grade A sociopath. So...not bummed about his death. While the meaning given behind Jack's tattoo makes sense, it totally doesn't really mean that and what were the consequences? Did he crash on the island in order to become the leader and great man his tattoo brands him as? If he didn't get the tattoo would he remain undefined and therefore island-free? Does outwardly defining ourselves affect how we live our lives and how things affect us? Now Juliet's getting a mark and no one seems to thrilled about it. Oh geez.

ACT FIVE: So it was only part of his tattoo, hmmm...and still not sure what custom she was breaking. A no-caucasians served rule? I'm totally for a Juliet and Jack relationship now. Sure, she may totally be using him to get back to her sick sister and niece/nephew (?), but that aloe scene was touching. Seriously, Kate and Sawyer had better not turn into Buffy and Angel. I don't want a whole season of are they or aren't they in love. Darnit! Pick one! And that ending on the boat, totally cheesy.

MY SCORE: *** (out of 5)