Pizza Party?

There are numerous reasons why I don't post here enough. One being that I have enough occupying my time, between a full-time job and (now) four improv teams. The other excuse is that I'm insanely lazy and when I get home, I usually have to go out and be social or sit around and watch really bad television (I watched a RERUN of "WIFE SWAP" last night on LIFETIME). The biggest reason I don't post here enough, though, is because most of what I want to write about has no place on this blog, either because it's too personal and I don't want you to know it, or it's too personal and you'll be bored by it. So, in an effort to solve both of those problems and generate actual content for this here thing, I'm going to post about my two biggest braintime-wasters using a cryptic and shoddy pizza metaphor.

I've been sick at my stomach some lately because of this pizza I eat way too often. It's not like I don't like pizza, don't get me wrong. I eat it all the time because I love it. I mean, in some ways I was born to eat pizza and have been doing so daily well before I started, um, well, eating pizza all the time. But here's the thing: this pizza takes a long time to cook. Seriously, it's intense. The dough is hard to manage, I keep losing the sauce and the pepperonis are really...really...expensive. Not to mention the restaurant keeps getting inspected (twice so far!) and the cost to keep the restaurant open is pretty high. But I mean, worth it because, hey, I love pizza. But goshdarnit if the meal wasn't book-ended not only by the long preparation but a good deal of time afterwards spent in the ol' bathroom. Anything I might get out of that pizza is totally lost by the time I claw my way out of the stall. And you know what? I kinda miss burritos. I really do now that all these anchovies and weird vegetable-esque things have been landing on my pizza. Seriously, didn't ask for those, 'kay?

And the other...

How long do you have to keep a pizza in the oven before you can actually enjoy it?



In college I participated in a debate on the pro-side of whether or not multiple personality disorder was real. I wish I had had this video at that time as it not only proves the existence of multiple personality disorder, but at least a dozen other mental disorders not yet catalogued.


It's coke.

Finally, hardcore data to back up my belief.It's all coke. I'm from Tennessee and this backs me up. People always think this is wrong or confusing, but it's not to me. I just grew up able to figure out whether or not coke was capitalized or not. Like, "Mom, can you please go buy some cokes for my party?" "Yes, I would like Coke to drink." It makes sense to me. I remember this caused some areas of confusion when I worked at the movie theater. Some people would look at me like I was a retard when they ordered a Coke and I asked them if they wanted Coke. Some people, like not-Yankees, knew that I was just trying to clarify coke from Coke, and they would correct themselves ("Oh, yeah, duh, it's all coke. Give me a Sprite."). This also happens to be one of the first questions I ask people, what they call soft drinks. That and what their middle name is.

I can't stand "pop" and won't ever bring myself to say it. It really just sounds pompous, arrogant, completely anachronistic, it really grates on my nerves. I know that's a harsh reaction to a word for soft drinks but I sometimes have it. It doesn't help that it naturally comes out with a very mid-western/northern accent when said, like "paaahp." Soda is okay, it's the lesser of two evils. Once again, in my head this is associated with the annoying "sooo-dah" pronunciation. I'm starting to think growing up in the South has done a number on me.

These regional differences sometimes bug me, or make me realize how different we all can be even though we come from the same America. Seriously, what's a bubbler? And that's a milk shake, hence Steak & Shake, not Steak & Frap (although Frank & Frap would be a good alternative...). This happens all the time in improv scenes. I've had to correct myself many times when talking about toboggans in scenes or monologues, since saying that usually results in odd stares. Toboggans are what you wear on your head in the winter (or in the summer if you're a douchebag, usually with a Korn logo). I think they're called beanies or...touks?...or something, cap? I'm note ven sure. I just know we call them toboggans. This also happened on Sunday in class when I called what most people assumed was a bed skirt a dust ruffle.

And also, is Yankee a really offensive term? I usually say it in jest and to make my Southern charm shine, unlike some members of my family who do say it in anger. Yes, I've become somewhat and oddly proud of my Southern heritage upon moving to the North. It's my rebellious streak, I think.

I need to buy some cokes now. Like Sprite and Dr. Pepper.


How's that for an update?

I think it's almost time that I started forcing myself to write something every day, even if I have no funny internet-bit to share or new revelation. I always fear that my memory is only as good as my blog entries and that any minute piece of my life will slip away if not cataloged here. So here are some random pieces of me. And I just had a Jewel flashback. And I now have "Who Will Save Your Soul?" stuck in my head. And now you do. Oh, this is bad for all involved.

The biggest recent event for me was Bad Data's one-year anniversary. We debuted last year on Setpember 1st and celebrated on the 6th with Bad Date III. It's been a heckuva year but I'm very proud to be part of a group that has now hit that landmark. It seems like only a handful of teams are still around from when we formed. Okay, I guess that's not so true, but only a handful still perform regularly. The UCB house team lineup is almost completely different, I can definitively say that. I can also definitively say that we've had some amazing group photos.

August 2007
November 2007
December 2007 (by Adam Bozarth)
April 2008
August 2008 (by Brett White)

The show was a great deal of fun. Despite the huge tropical storm and the show being in Long Island City, it was packed to capacity. Fat Penguin and The Scam had awesome sets, as did the lottery team at the end (thank you for not breaking that skull!). There was no dance party/improv jam at the end like normal, but hopefully we'll have all that sorted out with the venue (wherever that may be) in time for Bad Date IV.

I had the first ever MST3K Mondays gathering last night at my place. A very nice turnout, "Pumaman" and Flour Tomato Amy's Pizza Snack Fun Times got the week off to a solid start. Is it Friday yet? I think I'm going to try to have these every week. You know, doing things with friends that don't involve improv or bars is fun.

I'm trying to read more political stuff, but it really feels like trying to read 100 Bullets starting with issue #92 (which I've done...and it's confusing). I don't know so many basic things about government procdure and lingo that, in a normal sized article, there are maybe only 3 sentences I totally understand. I know I'll pick up on things by reading them but my eyes and brain actively resist reading political anythings. I try and I always, without fail, feel my brain withdrawing and thinking about anything else. I think the only time I feel my brain is when it's freaking out about having to read political stuff. I'm trying. If anyone has any tips or useful sites, let me know. I'm sure I could get passionate about politics, but I'm just too behind and uninformed to know where to start. It's daunting task.

My improv 501 class ends next week and this makes me sad. I have never had a class this talented and exciting and I doubt I ever will again. I've learned so much from the class structure and from seeing so many talented people work out their own personal kinks, it's been truly eye opening and entertaining. So supportive, committed, such a great class. We got to do a Harold as senior citizens on Sunday. I had a blast acting like a 70-year-old trying to remember all the things brought up in the pattern game.

I'm currently in the process of re-building my work's MySpace and Facebook pages. Please friend them.

That's about it for now. How's that for an update?


Labor Day!

I went to the Jersey Shore, Sea Bright to be exact, this past weekend for Labor Day. I don't think I've ever done anything more exotic than going to the river with my family, so going to a beach in Jersey (popularized around the country by MTV True Life's "I'm A Jersey Shore Girl") with well over a dozen improvisers was bound to be an experience.

Bozarth, Patrick and myself all got off work at 3 on Friday afternoon, so we met at my place in Astoria and got into Governor Nigel Canterbury as soon as Anna met us.
The drive wasn't horrible but I did get lost a couple times. Thank you, GPS, for both getting me lost and finding the way again. You are a complicated lady. We did come across a ratty tailoring store between 8th and 9th Avenue (to give you an idea of just how ratty) called Options!, so that was worth it.

My car was the first to arrive at Sea Bright, arriving while Matt Mayer (whose beach house we were staying at) and his lady Sarah were picking up Tyler from the train station in Red Bank. The four of us killed time by going to 7-11 and buying junk, like a cap gun. Good purchase, Patrick.
Question: Is Russian Roulette with a cap gun disturbing or infinitely nerdy? Answer: Mix of both. Bluvband and I just read our comics. Not really, but we did pose for this picture.
Other activities of the night included a couple games of Werewolf and the most hilarious viewing of "Judgment at Nuremberg" to ever happen.
Okay, this was taken during an off moment. But it was hilarious, trust me.

Rob, Bluvband and I went down to the beach in the late hours of the night to scope out the area we would become so familiar with. We found some rocks!
The rest of the night was filled with an insane bit involving the nonexistant titular lines from films. I couldn't come up with any so, after listening to them for about an hour, I went to sleep. And everyone else stayed up for about 3 more hours doing them.

Hello Saturday morning!
We heard from Matt Mayer that there was a good diner for breakfast, so we went. Steve's Diner would feed me breakfast during the entire trip. The grilled muffins were life-changing. I don't think I've ever been as blown away by a breakfast food. Including Rice Krispie Treats Cereal.
Before going to the beach, a car had to go pick Phil up from Red Bank. And not just Red Bank, Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash. Kevin Smith's comic store. Yup, a car full went to pick him up. Phil and Rob posed with memorabilia, and we all posed with our purchases.
Enough with the nerdiness, BEACH!
After hitting the beach hard, we crashed.
While Rob slept, we watched all 130 minutes of "Starship Troopers."

Dinner on Saturday was at a place called Something Fishy.
Reviews were mixed overall, but I enjoyed my crab legs.
Of course I played with them.
Patrick played some too.

We got ice cream after that. Dom enjoyed his, as did I. But I don't have a picture of me eating ice cream.
With the arrival of a couple more people, the population of 24 Surf Street hit close to 20. So, like any fledgling community, we gathered around in the dark and told ghost stories.The storytelling then moved outside, and we all gathered around the fire.
This picture happened, although I don't know why.
Sunday morning! We watched about a million John Cougar Mellencamp videos.
Sunday was the day I spent in New York City visiting with all my old "Late Show" buddies. I know pictures were taken but SOMEONE hasn't posted them on facebook yet. I met up with Patrick, who rode back with me Sunday morning, around midnight. We made our way back to Sea Bright in record time and began our beach adventure for a second time. That night was filled with the "Hey, remember when Phil invented laughter?" type bits. I swore to do no bits on this trip, but that didn't happen. Instead I decided to have fun.

Melanie had a huge Rice Krispie Treat that became one of us. Until we ate it.

Dom decided to rig up a trap for all the people in the back bedroom asleep well after us. Apparently, according to Tim, this trap killed Phil.We went to Steve's one last, well-documented time. Oh, sweet grilled muffin!
I never took a picture of the muffins. Huh.
Chris Scott stayed outside on the beach from around 7:30 AM til that afternoon. He's as red as you would think. More beach!
We all capped off the weekend with a "Cops" and "Press Your Luck" marathon. We all learned that Flokati rugs are to be laughed at and you should never, never flag down a cop when someone takes your $20 bill and gives you plaster instead of crack cocaine.

I'm still trying to readjust to life not on the beach.