My Odyssey

I interviewed for the position of research assistant for Wizard magazine yesterday and the whole experience could definitely be equated to my own personal Homer-ish "Odyssey." The Wizard offices are in Congers, New York, which is just about as "not in New York City" as you can get. I knew about the interview on Monday, so I spent the first half of the week trying to figure out how I was going to get little ol' me from Astoria to what I was sure would be like Mayberry, New York. There were a couple of options (all involving at least 3 modes of transportation) but I decided on the subway/bus/taxi plan as the best of all.

I spent most of Wednesday on the computer and on the phone attacking all the variables. I, of course, didn't even come close to dealing with all the variables, but I was sure trying. The cab company told me that "maybe" a cab would be there to pick me up and take me to the offices. Thanks, "maybe" is a great answer. I then noticed that there are two stops at Lake Road and Route 303, one of which within walking distance of Wizard and the other not-so-much. But due to various map inconsistencies, I couldn't determine which stop was which or if one of them was actually a stop (there are about 15 different variations on "Lake Road" in Congers, I determined). I called the bus line to find out, which of course he couldn't tell me, wouldn't tell me, and all put flat-out told me to get off the phone. It sounded like the guy on the other end was having a party in his office. If he was, no duh I was bothering him. Sorry about that.

I got the day off of work and headed to Port Authority via the R train and my legs. I found gate 220 without great difficulty and began waiting for the bus. I didn't have a ticket because it said on the website that tickets were purchased on the bus, which I believed until I saw other passengers with tickets. The gate was itself confusing. It smelled like burnt urine and only had an escalator going up, not one going down. I kept looking at it, trying to figure out if I could up my cool points by running down it. I decided that that would be impossible. I braved going down the stairs that led to who-knows-where, which turned out to be the correct way to get back to the terminal.

I found the ticket selling machines and then tried to buy a ticket, which wasn't possible because those machines didn't sell Congers tickets. My bus was arriving in under 20 minutes, so I of course started freaking out. I saw a sign for the information desk, so I went down to it and stumbled across the ticketing windows. I bought a ticket for the bus, finally finding the right place. I asked the ticket guy which stop would be closest, and he didn't know either. Fine. Whatever.

In my pocket was a packet of maps, directions, phone numbers and my resume that I had printed off the day before. I took this out and asked the bus driver when I got on the bus whether or not the stop closer to Wizard was one on the route. He just gave up immediately and said he didn't know. Do you drive, bus driver? The bus ride was fun. I love a good road trip and I was able to reconnect with my old friend, staring out the window. I was having a grand old time until I realized that the bus only makes stops when someone requests it, the bus stops aren't labeled in any way at all, and the bus driver does not announce the stop's name. Great. I didn't foresee this variable (which may be a common bus procedure, but I've obviously not taken a bus often) and I did not print out a complete schedule of the stops, so I had no clue when my stop was coming. I knew it would be around 12:30, but other than that...

The bus ride took us into the heart of West Nyack in New York state, a city which makes Smyrna look like a bustling Metropolis. A city that makes Loudon look modern. Both of those are Tennessee comparisons. For real, I've never seen that many beautifully ornate old homes and quaint book stores. I've definitely never seen them from a huge bus that was hugging every corner in the tiny town like it was going out of style. I think we almost ran over eight historical buildings.

The bus finally got out of West Nyack after going down what seemed like every single road in the town and approached what I figured out was one of the two Lake Road and 303 stops. I didn't want to chance missing the stop, so I hit the button and got off. The bus left me in just a step above the middle of nowhere. There was a Citibank, a small Rite-Aid, a gas station, and a strip mall in the distance. And wilderness. No sidewalk, either. I started walking down 303, knowing i could probably walk the 3 miles in the hour and a half I had before the interview.

I stopped at the strip mall and decided that, no, walking would be stupid. I called the taxi company, again, and they told me, again, that they didn't have anyone in that area and they were sorry. I told them no, I had to have a cab and I could wait the thirty minutes or whatever it required. I wasn't going to do "wait until you see one and hail it" like the guy on the phone said. The cab came a half hour later, picking me up from where I was standing in front of a Dollar General.

Finally, I was in the cab, directions in hand, ready to get to the interview. I gave him confident directions, it was all going great. Until we turned on Wells Avenue, where Wizard's offices are located. Except that this street dead-ended and had nothing but houses on them. Thank you, google maps. The cab driver waited as I called Wizard, to no answer. Thankfully a postal worker was delivering mail and he gave us correct directions. Apparently Wells Avenue had been cut off by another road or something and no maps really reflect that.

After three hours of traveling through confusing town, I was finally at the offices. The interview went really well and I was pretty much in awe of the place. They have a toy warehouse. A warehouse of toys. Seriously, imagine a warehouse, take all the tires out, replace them with toys, you get what they have in their building. It would be an awesome job and, with my car, a nice commute full of sing-along-alone time.

I left the interview pretty confident, so confident that I walked alongside a highway to the neareset bus stop at Lake Road and 303. Turns out I could have gotten off there. A bus came and stopped. I ran to get onto it, and as I did I was greeted by a "what the" glare from the old driver. "What, you can't wave your hand?" "Um...sorry?" Apparently, the fact that I was standing at the bus stop was not enough to make him stop. Anyway, I asked if this was the bus going to New York and he said no, rather, snottily, and I got off. Okay, so I wasn't on the right bus. My bus pulled up right after it and I got on. And went home.

That was Thursday, February 21st, from 9:30 AM to 5:00 PM.