TV: Kid Nation "Viva La Revolucion"

I haven't had the time to write about the last two episodes, which is a shame since they were both insane. The kids having a full-on keggar with root beer, doing Irish Car Bombs with coke and cursing up a storm, followed the next week by a whole mess of producer-manipulated religious turmoil. Those episodes were amazing! So, I don't really feel like going back and watching those episodes in their entirety. Instead I'll blog about the latest episode after giving some brief thoughts about the two episodes that came before it.


Kid Nation "Deal With It!"

COLTON This kid came to my attention because he was nearly trampled by a bull. No amount of confidence and Wal-Mart bought cowpoke gear could protect this kid if that four legged engine of down home fury had decided to charge, but fate smiled upon Colton. He's still with us, but he's not doing much else. His near-death experience, total cluelessness at the danger of the situation, and the cocky face he's sportin' earns him a blurb in this blog.


MALLORY
The third gold star winner, Mallory has a great future in retail management. She'll probably spend her high school years working at Sam's before jumping at the opportunity to work at a Kohl's. While at Kohl's, Mallory will learn all about dealing with middle-aged soccer moms with loads of their husbands' money to blow on affordable fashions. Once she hits 18, that $20,000 is going to go towards opening her own boutique, a corner of the store decorated in blue bandannas and dirt to honor her time at Bonanza City. But for real, Mallory does work hard and come on, it was way touching that it was her sister that vouched for her to get the star on her birthday. Sweet.



"Bless Us & Keep Us Safe"

ALEX
This kid finally got some decent screen time, and man was it worth it. This kid took a survey of the townspeople to find out what the religious majority was. He knew more about religions than the lil' ones that actually practice that religion ("Two types of Jews? Muslim? What's that?"). Not only that, the kid talks like he's teaching class. Here's a quote from Alex's CBS profile.
Who have been some of the worst U.S. presidents, and why?

George W. Bush, for leading us into a war without checking his facts first and for not having a clear plan prior to the invasion. He also suppressed anyone who wanted to question his decisions, which is against the American concept of free speech. William Harrison because he was too stupid to wear a coat at his inauguration speech, and caught pneumonia and died without doing anything in office.
Wow.

CODY
Oh man. Whipped at age 9. Cody got a letter from his girlfriend, a letter written in crayon and including the quintessential school picture (I think a fake plant and a bench were involved). This opened a floodgate of emotion, causing most all of his bunk to drown in Cody tears. Cody drowned his sorrows in root beer (kids are really aware of the purpose of alcohol nowadays) and split at the council meeting. Bye Cody. Enjoy your lady.


MORGAN
The green team is going to run America one day, you just watch. When Laurel elects her cabinet, you can bet that Michael, Sophia, and now Morgan are going to be right there. Morgan spent this episode uniting everyone against the stupidity of the council in a totally peaceful way. The council was forcing everyone to go to one church, and Morgan asked everyone if they wanted to go to a little prayer meeting. Morgan is a leader and she deserved the gold star.



"Viva La Revolucion"

ANJAY
Finally, after five episodes, Anjay develops a personality. Granted, most all of it comes out of his restrained blood-rage against Olivia, but it's still something that sets him apart from the other under 5 footers. He spent most all of the episode promising that he's going to become a better leader and, surprisingly, kept his spot on the council. This is fine, since Olivia is totally not going to go easy on him and, with Greg a happy camper, I think Anjay is the next one to put on a countdown to meltdown. Keep pushing those buttons, Olivia!

OLIVIA
Olivia isn't totally selfless, as we discovered in this episode. The wise older sister who pushed for lil' sis Mallory to get a 20K b-day present let loose her mean streak in this episode, running a fierce campaign that got under Anjay's skin something fierce. Now that I think about it, look at her picture. It's sneer-ific. She's a plotter, a schemer, and she's giddy about it. I want her on the council, totally, just to see what ABSOLUTE POWER does to her.


GUYLAN
Guylan? Who is Guylan? What is Guylan? For real, the soft features and flowing hair had me guessing about his gender for the first couple minutes of his television existence. This kid has hung around in the background for four episodes and now he's on the council. The only reason he ran was to get more leadership experience since he's always been a follower. This fact didn't escape Mike, who was shocked by Guylan's decision to run. Since the entire red team (except Mike) voted for him for the sole reason of "why not?," I'm looking forward to seeing a lot of second guessing on their part in future episodes. Does Guylan have what it takes?

MARKELLE
The new radical has entered the picture, everyone, and he has a pogo stick. Markelle, after reading Taylor's inspiring campaign jingle, ripped down her poster and pogoed all over it in the middle of town. Any other kid who hated Taylor (like all of them) would have ripped down the poster and ran. Not Markelle. This kid is brave. Even when the entire town tried stopping him, Markelle kept shouting his anti-Taylor rhetoric. This sent the Taylorite who made the poster into a fit of tears, causing Greg to comfort her. GREG. Greg is now a gentle giant, misunderstood but with a heart of gold. Markelle, obviously the only kid to consider the CD jacket to Kanye West's Graduation a religious text (could that collar be any more popped?!), may be the new bad boy in town. But he's a bad boy who hates Taylor...so he has some sense.

GREG
He got a gold star for taming his inner beast and earning in through hard work that was not shown this week in favor of a retarded game involving piñatas and presidential trading cards. And his call to his mother was played under the credits. He got the shaft.

LAUREL
No one even ran against her, proving that the green team is the best team. Filled with the only non-council members deserving of a spot, the team knows that Laurel treats them right. And this week, they became merchant class. Things may finally be looking up for the green team.


And that was the last three weeks' worth of Kid Nation. I still love this show. I'm saving up for the DVD box set right now. No LOLJarid this week because the evil producers refused to let him grace us with a nugget of wisdom. This had better not happen again.