TV: Kid Nation "To Kill Or Not To Kill"

The true test came tonight for possible reality TV savior Kid Nation: will episode two live up to the hopes and dreams that the first episode so gently and awesomely planted into my noggin? My almost-tears at the episode's finale means that all signs point to yes. Soggy corn, chicken blood, frozen flannel, and an impending battle of Shakespearean proportions made this episode mighty fine television.

No matter how many physical challenges they toss at us (this week: outdoor plumbing!), Kid Nation is about the kids. Two more of the remaining 39 got my attention this week.

EMILIE
One of the many kids raised on a farm, Emilie is adept at breaking horses and all things farmy. Her passion for the animals led her to be strongly against the decision to kill two chickens so the kids can have something other that peach and bean dinners. Understandable, Emilie, since the kids getting a blood lust is a little too Lord of the Flies a little too early. But come on, if everyone keeps a level head (pun since the chickens get their heads cut off!), no one will go insane and get their brains splattered against a rock. They'll get to eat. Chicken. Mmmmm. Emilie managed to lock herself into a chicken coup twice in one hour of television. Is that a record? The first time was to protest the impending chicken slaughter, the second was just out of her pure love of the animals and her dismay at being demoted to a class that doesn't have coup access. Some little punk named Colton made a big fuss about it and a hissy fit ensued. By episode's end, I was sure Emilie would pack it in and pull a Jimmy, but she decided to stay because her mother told her to be a "rough and tough cowgirl." I wonder what Emilie's other mom had to say about that? Oh! Snap! No I didn't!

ZACH
Poor Zach, poor poor Zach. Not only is he one of the few boys on Taylor's Zack & Cody obsessed pantheon of girlies, he's also the only one of them that actually likes to do his job as a cook. Zach was found in the kitchen slaving away with the green team (you know, the team that has to clean poo and pick up yellow's slack) and later confronted Taylor about just generally sucking. Taylor brushed it off with ice-queen ease and later complimented Zach on how hard he worked during the physical challenge. She calls him a natural leader which he hopefully will become when/if the revolt is led against Taylor. Zach should get a gold star for putting up with her.

GREG
Jerk Hole Greg really wants the gold star, and we find out why tonight: he's poor. He spends the second half of the episode cleaning and pitching in even though the blue team won upper class, a move that impressed some (Anjay and Taylor) and raised a couple eyebrows (both belonging to Mike). No matter how suspect his motives were, he did step it up and KILL TWO CHICKENS for the entire nation! Surprise surprise, Jerk Hole Greg knows his way around with a hatchet (yet he still vandalizes with chalk, hmmm?)! He also claims to have done a lot of "PVC work" which makes me wonder what this kid's summers are like. I think they're made of Taylor's nightmares. No matter, his behavior in this episode made me rethink the nickname Jerk Hole Greg until the last bit. After losing the gold star to Michael, Greg vowed revenge. He. Vowed. Revenge. Or to get even, I'm fuzzy on the wording, but for real, the rise and fall of Greg is so Anakin Skywalker right now, I'm PUMPED UP for next week!

LAUREL
President Laurel started slipping a bit this week, freaking out during the mission and expressing how upset she would be if they lost again. When they did lose again, Laurel managed to suck it up thanks to the help from everyone else. When asked why she was smiling, she responded that she "can't help but smile" when she's around those kids. Aww! She was next shown cleaning an outhouse for the fifth day in a row and said "work has to get done." Laurel is still the only council member with a right head on her shoulders but her momentary slip during the physical challenge has me wondering what is in store for her...

MICHAEL
This week's gold star winner and rightfully so. He made two more inspirational statements ("It could be worse, we could be living in Ethiopia" after losing all the water pumps) and solved the problem of the frozen water hole. His second statement was pretty awesome. He called out Taylor's "we're the youngest" BS and then gave them a compliment, saying he knew all of the yellow team personally and knew they had potential! Geez! Gold star, you, take it! And, to top it all off, he was more excited about calling his parents and said the $20,000 belonged to them! His mom, though, just had a small chuckle when Michael told her about cleaning outhouses and barely raised an eyebrow at winning beaucoup bucks. Oh Michael, cleaning kiddie nasty stuff, that's so charming! Oh, Housewives is on! Bye, honey!

TAYLOR
I think we have a problem. What was cute last week has now turned dangerous. When Sophia (go girl!) once again called out the yellow team for their total laziness for the second meeting in a row, Taylor said the usual "we tried our best," "it's too cold" blah blah blahs, and then dropped the bomb. "YOU'RE ALL GONNA STARVE"!!! She just flat-out said she wasn't going to do her job! Her job of feeding people! What?! Pageant winners don't do dishes but they do do psychological warfare! DK responded to that by telling her to shut her disrespectful mouth. Applause for him! Taylor needs to learn a lesson or eleventy billion, and fast.

And that was about it for this episode. Sophia is still saying the stuff everyone else is to afraid to say, Michael is backing up his speeches with actions, Greg is about to get vengeance on the council, and Taylor is shaping up to be a cute little dictator. And no one went home.

Oh, and I forgot someone...