Now he's intimidating.

My television doubles as my alarm clock. I woke up to this on Today.

Does this mean that Dwight actually is manly?

And seriously, talk me out of growing a beard right now. I'm easily influenced.

Curse you, Bay!

I'm not pretending that the upcoming Transformers movie is going to be Oscar bait. I can also say that I've not liked any of the Michael Bay movies I've seen (okay, the only one I've seen is the awful Armageddon but I recall that one getting generally positive reviews from my peers...in 8th grade). But honestly, for a series that began as extended commercials for toys, I think Bay is an okay choice. Transformers was never going to be Million Dollar Baby.

But.

I have serious issues with how the Transformers themselves look in the movie. I was never a die hard fan like some people I know (seriously, there's a devotion that rivals Star Trek to these automobiles) but I played with the toys pretty heavily growing up. And yeah, I get that things have to be reimagined for the big screen (thank God Wolverine didn't wear yellow spandex), but the level to which the Transformers have been changed is crazy.

They look like bugs. Metallic bugs. Look at this, two of my favorite characters with comparisons.

Starscream
Bumblebee

Okay, really, aside from the fact that Bumblee is gold, any similarities? If you traveled back to 1991 and handed me a picture of these two new versions (just a note: I'm wearing acid wash jeans with an elastic waistband, a Mickey Mouse hip hop gear t-shirt, and so many friendship bracelets), would I be able to identify them as Starscream and Bumblebee? No. I mean, Bumblebee maybe, if I looked closely enough to notice that there are tires hidden behind that lattice work of metal. But Starscream? He looks like a gestalt of angry forks. The fun for me, as a kid, was noticing how each robot still resembled their vehicular counterpart. Aside from hidden tires and a license plate cod piece, neither of these can be identified as anything other than Creepy Metallic Alien Bugs.

What's worse is that Starscream looks exactly like Megatron, Ironhide and Jazz. Yeah, all three are to the right. Can you pick out who is who? Megatron turns into a gun, Ironhide a red van, and Jazz a Porsche. Yep. Mmhmm. Bumblebee's not a Volkswagen Beetle anymore, so I guess they can alter the car modes...but still, can you tell which one of these is a gun and which other two are vehicles? Whatever. The one area that they could have adapted easily, the one area that matters the most, isn't even adapted: their heads and faces. The characters have always looked like robots, so why not keep the faces the same and bug out the rest of their bodies?

Whatever.

I'm still going to see this because Shia is wearing a Strokes t-shirt in it, giving my favorite band much needed publicity. Or something. Not.

Your favorite game

Which one of these is not like the other?

My guess is that the White Stripes made Interpol stop stealing their color scheme (that Meg is a spitfire) and the band found solace in the American Museum of Natural History.

Nothing says moody rock like a lion/antelope threesome.

Stars For Dinner: Joss Whedon

The last time I did a Stars For Dinner entry (a.k.a. "the only time"), I met the very man 17 days later. This has to happen a second time for it to be considered a pattern, so I might as well go all out and meet the man who set me on the course I am on today, and I don't mean a pudgy/pasty/balding course (then again....).

Without Joss Whedon, I would not be working in television.

My attention throughout elementary and middle school was focused entirely on comics. I don't regret this; the obsession provided me with hours of entertainment, a self-created universe of friends, and glimpses at popularity when other kids would notice that I was drawing a static-electricity powered monkey wearing head gear getting electrocuted by a teenage girl wearing a smiley face ringer tee and cut-off denim shorts (everyone misses 1996, right?). However, I never had the attention span to grasp anatomy, depth, or the fact that a couple of stray lines does not a cityscape make. I was in love with comics, but not really certain if I could pursue them as a career.

Then I saw Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it clicked. Comic book style storytelling on television, full of call backs, continuity, recurring characters, big time change, the works. I became obsessed with the show and that pretty much sealed the deal. Television, the box that introduced me to the life-changing Muppet Babies, was my true calling. I don't know why it never occurred to me.

Other factors have come into play, definitely, but Buffy in 8th grade was what started it all. And Joss Whedon is responsible for that. Sharp characterization, unwillingness to trap himself within one genre, the man was and is an inspiration. After Buffy, he created Angel and Firefly, two shows that are very Whedon yet completely their own shows. Angel, a dark noir drama set in the alleys of LA, became the funniest show on television for a brief time. Firefly is good too, but I think there are bigger fans of it out there. They're called brown coats. Or something.

Recently, Joss has entered the world of comics. He writes three a month (Astonishing X-Men, Runaways, and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight) and is now making me wonder why I gave up on my comic dreams. His spot on characterization of every character on all three of those books makes me cry the tears of nerd joy with every reading (don't even get me started on Kitty Pryde's speech to Emma Frost in Astonishing #2) and inspires me to aspire to take the reigns of one of my favorite Marvel books in the hopes of doing it as much justice as Joss does his.

It's a nerd stereotype, to be true. The man has a t-shirt and slogan after him that denounces Star Wars, for Kenobi's sake. But I can't help it. He's never lead me wrong, he's never let me down, and I know we could talk for hours about the X-Men. I mean, the first page of his first issue references Uncanny X-Men #168, one of my top five issues of all time. From there, who knows where the conversation could lead. Childhood superhero creations? Favorite candy bars? Tragic school stories, most of them involving Field Day?

Joss, let's do lunch.

Old Lady Clothes

In my attempt to make each blog entry a little less scattershot, I'm focusing on one topic today. As I take a wee break from the maelstrom of work that, straight up, came out of nowhere, I'm going to ponder the curious predicament of my mother and her "new" job.

My mother has been unemployed for a while, making the moneys tight. The only job that my mom truly excelled at (and by "excel" I mean a job she likes; she's been great/the best at all of her jobs) was her job as a buyer/window dresser/everything else at a dress shop in Mufreesboro, TN. A dress shop for old ladies. Rich old ladies. Lucille Bluth old ladies, fancy old lady clothes. My mom has always been creative. From making sweaters with lace on them and puff paint snowmen (it was the early 90s so it was acceptable; her putting me in said sweaters and taking photos was sheer manipulation) to her own purses and diaper bags for all the preggo women we know, she always kept herself busy with a project of some sort. Our backyard looks like the after on one of the more boring episodes of While You Were Out (the backyard episodes were never as good). When my mom got that job, it was perfect for her.

But, like most everything, there comes a metric ton of suck. My mom started spending almost every waking moment at the store, mainly because she wanted it to look good. This is mos def a trait I get from her; I'm a perfectionist and tend to go all in when I get involved in something (hello two improv classes a week and a practice group). This wore her out and other work scenarios were just not worth it.

And now, like, two years later, she's with them again. After a pretty long stretch of no-jobdom. I think there's mixed reactions in the family about this, but we all agree that the money is necessary. I'm not as mixed because I like seeing my mom do something that she's good at and something cool. She's so creative and, for someone who didn't go to college and was married with a kid by her late teens, she's done well for herself.

I'm thinking about this a lot lately just because I feel like I'm going to be hitting a cross roads soon, career wise. It's not really pressing; I'm only 22. But there's a gut feeling that in the next couple months, it's going to come time to really batten down my hatches and try for something big, most likely improv-wise. I'm not even making this sound right, I think. Maybe, maybe it means that every single job sucks but if it's what you love, it's worth holding on to and going back to. There were always parts of TV production that I hate but, as I sit at a desk for almost 50 hours a week, I wish I could go back and do it all one more time. I'd even lay cable or pick up yellowjackets.

Okay, maybe not, but I'd love to direct something again.

Notes From The Edge!!!

I was bound to crash after the heights (improv heights) I hit this past weekend, and crash I did. But it was a crash I walked away from; I did not end up on a tropical hellhole surrounded by mystery and dirty, world saving/ending (?) obstetricians. It was another good class that yielded many more things to add to my brain.

- Keep an eye out for character games or emotional games as opposed to just "this guy watched clown related crimes."

- Your characters always know! If they don't, then the scene becomes about solving a problem instead of about the characters.

- When possible, match your partner's energy. It's an instant agreement and scenes where people are on the same page are usually entertaining. Don't choose to intimidate or make your scene partner nervous. It's almost like arguing and kinda hard to heighten.

- Don't talk about it, do it. Don't practice or plan, do it. This is why scenes just before the "biggest play/concert/puppet show of your career!" are tricky.

There will be more blogs not improv related coming up. One may include Joss Whedon. One may include old-lady fashions.

Spider-Man 3

I've seen it.

Here's what I thought.

And I'm spoiler crazy.

I'm also completely biased, since Spider-Man 2 is constantly at war with X2: X-Men United for the spot of Digsy's Second Favorite Movie Ever. SM2's themes, it's acting, it's over the top direction, and that dang subway scene, they all get to me and stand together as many many reasons as to why movies exist. It's a perfect movie, in my opinion.

So not only does Spider-Man 3 have a lot to live up to, I'm also more inclined to look at it through rose colored black-rim glasses. And really, it does live up to it. I knew there was no way this would top SM2; I just hoped it would be good. And it is.

The acting is really kicked up a notch in this film. Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire have pretty solid chemistry as Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker and, goshdarnit, I root for them. I want those two to be together, even if their babies would have the most jacked up mouth ever (her gnarly front teeth, his awkward overbite). I've never been a huge fan of James Franco's Harry Osborn, but I love him on Freaks & Geeks so this may just be an annoying character. Yeah, Harry's annoying. He's like Luke in Star Wars: A New Hope but...he never grows up. He's whining about power converters for three movies.

The three new additions to the cast are so superb, they almost steal the movie. Sandman as a villain was, initially, a bore. Seriously, after Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus, Sandman was going to be the big bad? No? But Thomas Haden Church was great casting and he really makes you feel for poor Flint Marko. I mean, he gets a seriously raw deal and, thanks to his powers, can never enjoy a tasty beverage or take a shower again. Using very few words, Church sells Marko/Sandman as a realistic villain with a decent motive. Church manages to emote through sand, a lot of the time. Hard work, but he was up to it.

Bryce Dallas Howard took some time off from making the worst movies ever ("The Village" and "Lady in the Water" anyone?) to make a downright head turning debut as Gwen Stacy. Holy crap, she was born to play this role. She doesn't do much, but the few scenes she's in, she is Gwen Stacy. Blonde, confident, black headband, I was totally expecting her to get thrown off a bridge and hear her neck snap, I was that convinced. Kirsten Dunst can go join a Smashing Pumpkins cover band (she looks like Billy Corgan) for all I care, BDH is ready to go.

Lastly, can I please watch a movie starring Eddie Brock? Topher Grace has such a presence on screen and he just rules every scene he's in. He's hilarious, creepy, intimidating and pathetic all at the same time. This is the best thing to come out of "That 70s Show" since...ever. He makes a great turn as a villain and I wish there was more of him, even if it was odd seeing Topher Grace's head popping out of Venom's body.

The best thing about the movie is how it teeters from being straight up awesome and being downright creeptastic when Peter Parker goes Fall Out Boy with his symbiote hair dye and eyeliner. His libido-strut down the street is hilarious, as is his sexy stare down with Betty Brant. But the dance scene with Gwen and his subsequent rage at MJ is...wow. Something you don't want to see. There's also a butt load of action in the film, and while it's all emotionally charged and relevant (Peter reaching out for Aunt May's engagement ring while being attacked by Harry sticks with me), none of it is as moving as the subway action sequence in SM2. I also loved the scene between Peter and Ursula involving the cookies. Tobey plays a jerk acting sweet so well.

There's a big ol' sense of coincidence throughout this movie that can kinda distract if you let it. Like, the meteor carrying the symbiote just happens to land near Peter and MJ. Flint Marko really killed Uncle Ben. Harry gets amnesia from his fight with Peter just long enough to further the plot. Eddie is at the same cathedral as Peter when the symbiote gets knocked off him. It's all somewhat plausible and the film tries to explain away most of it, but sometimes it comes across as rather tiring. Also, really, darnit, I want a Spider-Man movie where he's just Spider-Man from beginning to end. No manipulation, no giving up, just Spider-Man versus his bad guy. Stiiiiill, it's all good and I think revenge is a fine theme to explore in this film and it finds it's way into every story.

The lack of stakes also kinda got to me, since the world is never in danger. But then again, Spider-Man is not Superman. He deals with his family and friends primarily; he's not going off to Russia to stop nuclear bombs or flying into space to destroy an asteroid. MJ being in danger is as big as the end of the world to Spider-Man, and the delicate pacing and complex characterization of the characters so far gets that point across just fine to the audience.

Overall, this was fine. This was good and worth the wait. Loads of action, loads of comedy. It's a fun movie with lots of fun moments, the fun moments and great acting overshadowing some of the more dicey plot elements.

And remember, I'm biased.

And love is blind.

MY SCORE: **** (out of 5)