Comics: 2-20-08

CABLE & DEADPOOL #50
"Symbiosis Mitosis"
Scripter: Fabian Nicieza
Plotter & Penciler: Reilly Brown
Inkers: Jeremy Freeman with Bob Almono
Colorists: Gotham and Sotocolor
Letterer: Dave Sharpe
Cover: Skottie Young
Production: Irene Lee
Assistant Editors: Jon-Michael Ennis and Lauren Sankovitch
Editor: Nicole Boose
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Cable & Deadpool has not only done something that no one expected it to do, it has also done something that most titles nowadays find it hard to do: reach the fiftieth issue. Just like the surprising amount of supplements at the end of this book point out, no one thought that a comic starring two disparate characters whose sole point in common was being created during the darkest days of comic history would last this long. Yeah, I jumped ship with issue #29, but reading this issue makes me wish I hadn't stopped. Marvel needs a book like this. With She-Hulk currently doing a straightforward drama/thriller story, there's no other book that brings the funny and shines the spotlight on how messed up Marvel really is. Deadpool's jarringly informed commentary is not as distracting as it should be. How does Deadpool know about Spider-Man's deal with Mephisto? Doesn't matter, because the tone of the book is right on and Deadpool's speaking for every disenfranchised reader. This issue also deals with the main theme that's been attached to the only titular hero appearing in this issue. Deadpool fighting alongside the Mighty Avengers, Fantastic Four, and Spider-Man is a fitting send off for the title, even if he does call Ares "Guy I don't know" and has to resist the urge to hit on Black Widow. Him turning down playing poker with "Mr. Thing" to watch TV with his supporting cast (which has, surprisingly, been the most solid one in the Marvel Universe since Joe Kelly's run) is a sweet little ending that rings true and doesn't feel saccharine. The Cable cameo is another wink to the audience and a nice touch after editorial decided to make half of the title irrelevant.

As a final issue, I would say this is a very satisfying one. Granted I've only read "Fractured" since I quit reading a while ago, but this issue is strong enough to make me want to go back and see what I missed. I know both Cable and Deadpool are getting solo series again, but I hope the tone and stories of this little book that could don't get forgotten.

MY SCORE: 8.7/10


THE MIGHTY AVENGERS #9
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Mark Bagley
Inkers: Danny Miki & Crime Lab Studios' Allen Martinez & Victor Olazaba
Artist p. 2-4: Marko Djurdjevic
Colorist: Justin Ponsor
Letterer: Artmonkeys' Dave Lanphear
Production: Paul Acerios
Associate Editor: Molly Lazer
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

As I'm sure I've noted countless times before, I'm still a relative neophyte to the Marvel Universe as a whole. My interest in the Avengers started when, it appears, the rest of the comic buying public became interested. Bendis' reinvention of the formula with New Avengers has been consistently popular and launched the careers of many artists into the stratosphere (Marvel hype didn't hurt either). Now we have Bendis tackling what feels like a classic title from what I can gather based on all the back issues I've bought. Iron Man versus Doctor Doom, does it get any more classic than that? This issue is much better than the last one because it's not telling the other half of a story we've already read (with inconsistencies to boot). Big sprawling action isn't seen very often in comics lately, and I'm glad that Mighty Avengers is bringing it with style. Three double-page spreads of intricately detailed and exhilarating action may seem like overkill, but I appreciated the determination and skill it depicts all the Avengers having. These guys are pros and, honestly, I like seeing them all go to town on some robots. The issue is definitely light on plot (we still don't know how Doom's symbiote virus crashed to Earth) but a fascinating prologue featuring painted artwork and Morgan Le Fey and an unexpected twist ending colored like 1961 make this issue above average.

MY SCORE: 8.5/10


THE ORDER #8
"8: Holly --or-- Search And Destroy"
Writer: Matt Fraction
Breakdowns: Barry Kitson
Finishes: Barry Kitson, Stefano Gaudiano, Paul Neary & Jon Sibal
Colorist: Sotocolor's J. Roberts
Letterer: Artmonkeys Studios
Assistant Editor: Alejandro Arbona
Editor: Warren Simons
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

This is another fine installment in what is shaping up to be a pretty great series. It's such a shame that there are only two more issues left, because Fraction is creating such a rich world with some very nice characters. This issue focuses on Mulholland Black, or Holly, and gives her a very Francis Bean background. Unlike the current New Warriors series that features blank slate characters that have been around for the better part of a decade, The Order has delivered defining character moments and fully formed personas from almost the get-go. I really hope these characters survive this book's cancellation. Much of the M.A.N. from S.H.A.D.O.W. mystery is cleared up, probably a lot quicker than Fraction had intended. The characters figure things out using logic and never do the usual "Oops, forgot to tell you!" crap that plagues a lot of storytelling. Everything is moving forward and I actually think a lot of the plots will get wrapped up by issue ten. That's about it. This is one of the best team books on the stands and the best crop of totally new characters Marvel has introduced since Runaways years ago. Let's hope it gets a second chance like that title did.

MY SCORE: 8.6/10


RUNAWAYS v.2 #29
"Dead-End Kids 5 of 6"
Writer: Joss Whedon
Penciler: Michael Ryan
Inkers: Rick Ketcham with Andrew Hennessy
Colorist: Christina Strain
Letterer: VC's Joe Caramagna
Cover Artist: Jo Chen
Assistatn Editor: Daniel Ketchum
Editor: Nick Lowe
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Joss Whedon's run on Runaways has taught me that infrequent publishing is most definitely not the friend of dense plotting and a dozen new characters. I had to re-read issue #28 just to remember what was going on in this issue, and I had to read several parts of #28 multiple times just to follow the plot. It doesn't help that every pair of characters was going off to follow different paths all involving similarly dressed people to try and figure out the best way home. After sorting out exactly what was going on, this issue reads a lot better. Whedon has truly made the characters runaways again and has even managed to find new situations and foils for them to highlight their independence. Molly telling Klara that she's an adult really accentuates Whedon's reason for stranding the kids in 1907 other than the fact that Michael Ryan's detailed pencils really lend themselves to the period. Whedon sent them to this year because there really were no teenagers at this point in time. It's a nice turn of events and it actually does work rather nicely with the series. I still wish we could have gotten six stand alone issues working directly off of where Brian K. Vaughan left us, but instead we're getting a thematically sound and densely plotted action story. The deaths of two of the Street Arabs, and possibly a third, are quite grisly and well done, making up for the fact that Whedon expects us to remember the powers of a character barely seen last issue and this issue without any hint other than Vic's sudden outburst.

Runaways is good this month and this is another Joss Whedon story that's going to read a lot better in the trades.

MY SCORE: 8.6/10

Comics: 2-13-08

FANTASTIC FOUR #554
"World's Greatest 1 of 4"
Writer: Mark Millar
Penciler: Bryan Hitch
Inker: Paul Neary
Colorist: Paul Mounts
Letterer: VC's Rus Wooton
Associate Editor: Molly Lazer
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's epic (and epically late) run on Ultimates and Ultimates 2 is still one of the highlights of the last ten years of Marvel Comics. The two creators compliment each other in a true old school Claremont/Byrne way and the thought of them working together on a big mainstream Marvel title is pretty exciting. This issue is perfectly sound and, moreso than the other big creative shifts that I jumped on board for and quickly departed (Waid/Wieringo and later Straczynski/McKone), I'm truly interested in where this is going. Millar has three of the four down pat. I don't really like Human Torch's male Paris Hilton act and, I'd have to ask a real FF fan, it seems like it's a giant leap backwards for the character. I also have no idea what the status quo for this title was prior to this issue. Last I saw Black Panther and Storm were still on the team. This disjointed approach to Marvel books where the status quo is knocked down and built back up with every new creative team has irked me for years now. I'm also wondering how She-Hulk is appearing here quite modest and ladylike while she's running around in slutty velvet pants in her own title and off investigating red Hulk in the apparently atrocious Hulk. Whatever. Whaaaaatever. That doesn't ruin this issue and I'm looking forward to the next eleven.

Also, I really enjoy the new cover layout. A lot of the time comic books seem to be behind on modern graphic design, so whenever I see something different I appreciate it. Fantastic Four was called the world's greatest comic magazine for decades, so I get a real kick out of seeing magazine-esque copy on the cover. Nice.

MY SCORE: 8.6/10


THE NEW AVENGERS #38
"The Breakup"
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Michael Gaydos
Color Art: Jose Villarrubia
Letterers: RS & Comicraft's Albert Deschesne
Cover Artist: Marko Djurdjevic
Associate Editor: Molly Lazer
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Bendis broke one of his own traditions by actually giving this issue a title. Thankfully he had it end the exact same way he has now ended three other issues of his Avengers comics; Ms. Marvel swoops in and pardons a law-breaking Avenger that is right there. I know that it creates moments and dramatic tension, I get it. It was way dramatic the first time it happened. Since then, it's happened in every single issue of both Avengers titles since, it seems, and it's getting old. If I didn't think this was just Bendis getting cheap drama out of a tried-and-true situation, I'd think Ms. Marvel was a Skrull. The issue itself is quite good and New Avengers is one of the most character rich titles on the shelf. I just wish something would happen that didn't involve Ms. Marvel being a pushover.

MY SCORE: 8.2/10


X-FACTOR v.3 #28
"Aftermath"
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Pablo Raimondi
Colorist: Jeremy Cox
Letterer: VC's Cory Petit
Cover: Glenn Fabry
Editor: Aubrey Sitterson
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Peter David really stepped up his game with this issue, once again being the only x-book to feel like a natural continuation of the horrific events we all just witnessed in "Messiah Complex." Siryn is confessing her sins, Rahne is jumping ship for X-Force, and Madrox and Rictor are pissed off beyond belief. I know David is a brilliant writer, but sometimes I wonder if he knows just how true he's being to his characters. Rictor's urge to get all high-and-mighty with a pimp is a direct callback to X-Force v.1 #34, where he scolds kids for playing with finger guns. Now, I know that's a leap, but for a continuity nut job like myself that's the type of commitment to characterization I read comics for. Similarly, M's aloof friendship is right on game with her old Generation X days. A comic book focusing on how bleak the cast's outlook on life has become should be a burden to read; it shouldn't make me downright giddy at how reinvigorated this title feels. I mean, I'm not giddy because there is definitely something brewing, something bad. I'm just giddy that I'm going to get the pleasure to read these stories.

MY SCORE: 9.2/10


X-FORCE v.3 #1
"Angels and Demons 1 of 6"
Writers: Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost
Artist: Clayton Crain
Letterer: VC's Cory Petit
Production: Irene Lee
Assistant Editor: Aubrey Sitterson
Editor: John Barber
Executive Editor: Axel Alonso
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Well. What am I to make of this? I'll get the continuity errors out of the way first since, well, even though I have to bring them up they aren't that important. First, Wolverine mentions that prior to getting all of his memories back a couple years ago, he'd thought he'd never been to Colorado. Are you kidding me? I don't know of any specific stories and I sure can't pull out an issue number, but I find that hard to believe when one of his longtime teammates (Angel) lived in Colorado for a long time. Come to think of it, I know the X-Men swung by his place during "The Dark Phoenix Saga", and Wolverine was probably with them. It's not like Colorado is Asgard, it's a pretty popular state. The other error would be Warpath's photo of X-Force. I give the creative team a lot of credit for actually acknowledging 1995 and the first comic to bear this title, but Caliban was bigger than Warpath at that time and Cannonball wasn't on X-Force. I can rationalize Cannonball sneaking into the picture since they did all live in the mansion, but Caliban looked completely different than what is depicted.

Now that that's out of my system, on to what really matters. What is with this book? I like the idea behind it and I can see the tenuous relationship to the X-Force name based on it, but do we really want to read this? Do I really want to see Warpath, X-23, and especially Wolfsbane slowly lose chunks of their souls month in and month out to do the "dirty deeds" that the X-Men can't do? Which, when you think about this issue, I don't see what's so dirty about it. The X-Men have dealt with psychopaths worse than the Purifiers before (I'm thinking Marrow, Gene Nation and the Marauders initially) and handled them just fine without resorting to throwing knives through a person's head. The level of horrific blood in this comic is truly unsettling. I also find it hard to believe that this is a covert team of X-Men that, you know, wear bright red Xs on their all black costumes and are led by Wolverine. Wolverine. Mr. X-Man himself.

The art is also a sore spot for me. It's competent but I think I just have an affinity for good ol' pencils and inks. This art looks too washed out in places, and too grotesque in others. I mean seriously, what is up with Wolfsbane? Her ears look as sharp as Wolverine's claws.

The dialogue is fine and I like that this book has a purpose. I'm very touchy about the name X-Force and I'm trying to let the involvement of Warpath and Wolfsbane (to an extent) rationalize it. But seriously, can anyone imagine this series going past issue 12? Are Kyle and Yost going to keep trotting out new innocent characters to completely demoralize? This combined with the upcoming Young X-Men: Teens Assembled to Assassinate is making the line seem unnecessarily grim.

But it could be worse. Rob Liefeld could have been involved.

MY SCORE: 7.4/10

My Odyssey

I interviewed for the position of research assistant for Wizard magazine yesterday and the whole experience could definitely be equated to my own personal Homer-ish "Odyssey." The Wizard offices are in Congers, New York, which is just about as "not in New York City" as you can get. I knew about the interview on Monday, so I spent the first half of the week trying to figure out how I was going to get little ol' me from Astoria to what I was sure would be like Mayberry, New York. There were a couple of options (all involving at least 3 modes of transportation) but I decided on the subway/bus/taxi plan as the best of all.

I spent most of Wednesday on the computer and on the phone attacking all the variables. I, of course, didn't even come close to dealing with all the variables, but I was sure trying. The cab company told me that "maybe" a cab would be there to pick me up and take me to the offices. Thanks, "maybe" is a great answer. I then noticed that there are two stops at Lake Road and Route 303, one of which within walking distance of Wizard and the other not-so-much. But due to various map inconsistencies, I couldn't determine which stop was which or if one of them was actually a stop (there are about 15 different variations on "Lake Road" in Congers, I determined). I called the bus line to find out, which of course he couldn't tell me, wouldn't tell me, and all put flat-out told me to get off the phone. It sounded like the guy on the other end was having a party in his office. If he was, no duh I was bothering him. Sorry about that.

I got the day off of work and headed to Port Authority via the R train and my legs. I found gate 220 without great difficulty and began waiting for the bus. I didn't have a ticket because it said on the website that tickets were purchased on the bus, which I believed until I saw other passengers with tickets. The gate was itself confusing. It smelled like burnt urine and only had an escalator going up, not one going down. I kept looking at it, trying to figure out if I could up my cool points by running down it. I decided that that would be impossible. I braved going down the stairs that led to who-knows-where, which turned out to be the correct way to get back to the terminal.

I found the ticket selling machines and then tried to buy a ticket, which wasn't possible because those machines didn't sell Congers tickets. My bus was arriving in under 20 minutes, so I of course started freaking out. I saw a sign for the information desk, so I went down to it and stumbled across the ticketing windows. I bought a ticket for the bus, finally finding the right place. I asked the ticket guy which stop would be closest, and he didn't know either. Fine. Whatever.

In my pocket was a packet of maps, directions, phone numbers and my resume that I had printed off the day before. I took this out and asked the bus driver when I got on the bus whether or not the stop closer to Wizard was one on the route. He just gave up immediately and said he didn't know. Do you drive, bus driver? The bus ride was fun. I love a good road trip and I was able to reconnect with my old friend, staring out the window. I was having a grand old time until I realized that the bus only makes stops when someone requests it, the bus stops aren't labeled in any way at all, and the bus driver does not announce the stop's name. Great. I didn't foresee this variable (which may be a common bus procedure, but I've obviously not taken a bus often) and I did not print out a complete schedule of the stops, so I had no clue when my stop was coming. I knew it would be around 12:30, but other than that...

The bus ride took us into the heart of West Nyack in New York state, a city which makes Smyrna look like a bustling Metropolis. A city that makes Loudon look modern. Both of those are Tennessee comparisons. For real, I've never seen that many beautifully ornate old homes and quaint book stores. I've definitely never seen them from a huge bus that was hugging every corner in the tiny town like it was going out of style. I think we almost ran over eight historical buildings.

The bus finally got out of West Nyack after going down what seemed like every single road in the town and approached what I figured out was one of the two Lake Road and 303 stops. I didn't want to chance missing the stop, so I hit the button and got off. The bus left me in just a step above the middle of nowhere. There was a Citibank, a small Rite-Aid, a gas station, and a strip mall in the distance. And wilderness. No sidewalk, either. I started walking down 303, knowing i could probably walk the 3 miles in the hour and a half I had before the interview.

I stopped at the strip mall and decided that, no, walking would be stupid. I called the taxi company, again, and they told me, again, that they didn't have anyone in that area and they were sorry. I told them no, I had to have a cab and I could wait the thirty minutes or whatever it required. I wasn't going to do "wait until you see one and hail it" like the guy on the phone said. The cab came a half hour later, picking me up from where I was standing in front of a Dollar General.

Finally, I was in the cab, directions in hand, ready to get to the interview. I gave him confident directions, it was all going great. Until we turned on Wells Avenue, where Wizard's offices are located. Except that this street dead-ended and had nothing but houses on them. Thank you, google maps. The cab driver waited as I called Wizard, to no answer. Thankfully a postal worker was delivering mail and he gave us correct directions. Apparently Wells Avenue had been cut off by another road or something and no maps really reflect that.

After three hours of traveling through confusing town, I was finally at the offices. The interview went really well and I was pretty much in awe of the place. They have a toy warehouse. A warehouse of toys. Seriously, imagine a warehouse, take all the tires out, replace them with toys, you get what they have in their building. It would be an awesome job and, with my car, a nice commute full of sing-along-alone time.

I left the interview pretty confident, so confident that I walked alongside a highway to the neareset bus stop at Lake Road and 303. Turns out I could have gotten off there. A bus came and stopped. I ran to get onto it, and as I did I was greeted by a "what the" glare from the old driver. "What, you can't wave your hand?" "Um...sorry?" Apparently, the fact that I was standing at the bus stop was not enough to make him stop. Anyway, I asked if this was the bus going to New York and he said no, rather, snottily, and I got off. Okay, so I wasn't on the right bus. My bus pulled up right after it and I got on. And went home.

That was Thursday, February 21st, from 9:30 AM to 5:00 PM.

We don't have no control, we're under control

Do you ever just have one of those weeks when your entire life gets turned upside-down? A status quo change on the level of Sidney taking down SD-6, Angel taking over Wolfram & Hart, or flash forwards becoming the new thing? That's what this week has been for me and I'm finding it all a little hard to take considering today is Valentine's Day.

On Monday I ended a phase in my life a bit prematurely...but it was necessary. That doesn't mean it's stopped hurting. Because it does. I've never caused that much drama and sadness before, in myself let alone someone else, and it's not easy to adjust to. I'm glad I have other things, positive and negative, to look forward to to take my mind off of this. Also, being able to hide status updates on Facebook is the best thing in the world related to the most useless application in the world.

On Tuesday I found out that you can get fired for doing everything that I wrote about a couple weeks ago. Okay, it's not really getting fired so much as getting dumped by my place of employment. It's not working out, I'm not having fun, all that stuff. All of which is true. I think if you know me you know that I love the X-Men, have issues with social interaction, and loathe my job. So this is the push I need to get another job, I just don't like that I'm not controlling when it happens. But yeah, if it was up to me I have no idea when it would be. And to be fair, I've been trying a lot harder at my job and have started doing many other tasks outside of my normal realm to try and be a better employee, not that any of this has really been noticed. I was actually told that my job isn't important. Can't wait to work here for six weeks with that comment hanging over my head.

If it wasn't for my friends, I don't think I would have been able to keep a solid grasp on my mind. To illustrate the depths of sadness I have fallen into, I listened to Neutral Milk Hotel's In The Aeroplane Over The Sea on the subway this morning and had to keep the tears back. And that's not even an album I really like all that much. My friends all jumped in immediately to help me on Tuesday, correcting my cover letter and giving me all sorts of leads and advice. If it wasn't for you guys I would be directionless and clueless and definitely wouldn't be able to muster the strength to blog (I apparently can muster up the strength to watch Flavor of Love 3). I called the six of us that met on Tuesday night at a diner to talk and vent our Friends, which was immediately met with ridicule and then morphed into an argument about which sad soul got stuck with being Joey (no one, we decided two Chandlers was better).

Another friend helping me out during this long and emotionally uncertain time is Room On Fire, the sophomore album by the Strokes. Everything about the album is important to me right now, from the tone of the guitar to the strained vocals, everything down to the feelings and memories each song conjures up. I bonded with this album while simultaneously bonding with three of the best friends I've ever had during one of the best times of my life, and that is something that enhances this album and makes it feel like home. The lyrics to the songs, particularly "What Ever Happened?," "Under Control," and "Automatic Stop," put my current feelings into words better than I ever could. Isn't that what the perfect album is supposed to do? Well, it's doing that.

I don't know what's coming up next and it terrifies me. I'm very much a creature of habit and a person who finds comfort in his own past. I constantly yearn for the days of yore, their blemishes and pains completely wiped away by my own nostalgia. One of the goals for 2008 is to have a four month stretch that at least matches the halcyon days of my Late Show internship and these changes are exactly what I need to accomplish this.

Also, if we haven't hung out in a while, give me a call. Odds are I miss you and would enjoy seeing you again. And we don't have to see improv, I swear. I can do other things.

Comics: 2-06-08

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SEASON EIGHT #11
"A Beautiful Sunset"
Writer: Joss Whedon
Penciler: Georges Jeanty
Inker: Andy Owens
Colorist: Michelle Madsen
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Jimmy
Editor: Scott Allie

Season Eight has been a troubled little book. Aside from an above average arc by Brian K. Vaughan about Faith, it's been pretty standard fare. Joss Whedon's voice is coming through loud and clear, it's just that his witticisms are sometimes confusing when read and not heard. Also, the art hasn't been anything to get excited over. Jo Chen has provided some striking paintings for the covers but Georges Jeanty is merely passable. He tells the stories well and gets the likenesses down, but nothing past that. In my opinion, a book as important and event-y as the eighth season of one of the most important and influential television shows of the past twenty years deserves an artist of some merit and individuality (Adrian Alphona would be amazing).

All that aside, this is a better than average issue of Season Eight. I'm glad to read single issues by Joss; they show that he has a real grasp on the medium moreso than the sprawling epics hes doing on Runaways and Astonishing X-Men. It feels like we're finally getting a direction and a real threat after eleven issues. Twilight, the person or organization or whatever, is not happy with the slayer-filled world and is going to do something about it. It feels like a big threat since it's a direct consequence to what Buffy did in the series finale. Whedon's universe is full of consequences so this is a natural fit. I'm pleased to see her second guessing her decision. The single issue format is great and I like the alternating between longer arcs and individual stories. Joss' fake-out with the identity reveal of Mr. Twilight is such a clear sign of his understanding of the medium; he knew how to mess with his audience on TV and now he knows how to do it in comics. I almost clapped when Mr. Twilight said "sorry, itchy neck." Great.

This issue also answers some questions raised by the series so far instead of the tv series. Buffy deals with Satsu and the love kiss she placed on Buffy in the opening arc and also hints at an explanation for Willow's awkwardness as of late. Everything's becoming clearer and I think this'll help the past issues. Buffy's speech about her exes all getting hurt is a nice nod to continuity (as is the mud-faced Satsu reminding Buffy of the dream she had in "Restless") but I find it pretty self-centered that it immediately turned back on self-pity. Then again, Buffy's self-pity has been a character point before so no reason it shouldn't pop up here.

I think the real problem with this book is that it feels too removed from the TV series. I respect the decision to make a bold change, I'm all for that. I'm just finding it hard to adjust to not seeing Willow and Xander together in every issue, or Buffy talk to Giles, or even just seeing people hate Spike. There really is no cast here and so far Satsu is the only new character to, well, have a personality. It feels really fractured, moreso than season 4. I want to see the gang all back together eventually. Eventually.

So, good issue. The single issues are shaping up to be way better than the big event storylines. Here's hoping that Drew Goddard's big arc starting next month is better than "Long Way Home."

MY SCORE: 8.6/10


UNCANNY X-MEN #495
"X-Men: Divided 1"
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Mike Choi
Color Art: Sonia Oback
Letterer: VC's Joe Caramagna
Assistant Editor: Will Panzo
Editor: Nick Lowe
Executive Editor: Axel Alonso
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

For the first time in ten years (seriously, I just checked), nothing happened in this issue. Yes, there have been one or two quiet issues in that time period, but it seems like they've been leading up to either a new creative team or a huge event. Even though this issue is labeled as "part 1," it's the X-Men just chilling with no huge change looming. For the first time in a long time, I finished reading the book with a nod and realized that I was simply going to read an Ed Brubaker story next month, and the month after that, and the month after that. I'm not worried about what a new writer is potentially going to mess up. I'm not worried about having to buy a title I don't want to to get the rest of the story. I'm just going to read #496 and find out what happens. That's it.

And I am so happy.

Everyone claims that Joss Whedon's Astonishing is way old-school, but Claremont never did decompression with delays on top of that. If you want old-school, this is it. Cyclops and Emma are on vacation in the Savage Land. Nightcrawler, Wolverine and Colossus are in Germany. There's no action whatsoever, just solid characterization. In that way, it's like a Scott Lobdell issue, but the whole vibe is very post-Siege Perilous Claremont. There's no X-Men, as far as the government is concerned, and that is genuinely exciting to me. If the whole point of "X-Men: Divided" is to actually focus on the characters' relationships instead of just sticking them in the crossover-o-matic (Hot Creator + New Status Quo X Variant Cover / Death = Event) then I am on board.

The scenes with Cyclops and Emma work for me. Somehow they are way more interesting than Cyclops and Jean ever were, which is a shame. Shanna points out that Emma has a soft side which, my only complaint, is what I fear we're seeing too much of. Emma's love for Cyclops is interesting and I'd like to see more of her reasons for loving him. I particularly enjoyed the exchange where Emma revealed that she could also look him in the eyes (due to her diamond form) as well as look into his mind. That simple feat sets her above Jean Grey in the intimacy department since not being able to look him in the eyes was a plot point for that couple.

Cyclops is also getting some nice attention finally. It has been pointed out that Cyclops isn't the big gun that he should be in the Marvel Universe. Mr. Fantastic and Captain America (and I guess Iron Man) are huge names and also lead the Fantastic Four and the Avengers. Cyclops has never been anything more than a boy scout and a follower. It was Professor X that joined the Illuminati after all. His worry about what to do without Professor X is so right and such an interesting angle for the character. The problem is...it should have been done before. Cyclops has led the X-Men during three of Professor X's absences: when he died in the 1960s, when he was in prison after Onslaught in the late 90s, and when he was in Genosha after Grant Morrison's run. During all three of those times he never had this type of crisis. I guess his death has heightened his inner turmoil, but it's laid out in the first page of this issue that Cyclops doesn't think he's dead. He should be upset that the Professor is missing, but I don't really buy the whole "without him there is no purpose" line. It might be a front for the government at this point, so I'll wait it out.

On the topic of Professor X's death, how botched was that? If I had not read the solicitations for this month's comics and read this directly after the 13th chapter of "Messiah Complex," I would be giving a big "a-huh?" to this. Professor X was shot in the head. The disappearance of his corpse on the last page was done in such a way that it seemed more like an artistic goof than a plot point, and it wasn't even addressed or pointed out. Then in this issue, the recap page says he was shot in the head and seemingly dead with no mention of the disappearance. I assume all of this will be cleared up in X-Men: Legacy when it comes out, but if so it should have come out this week instead of Uncanny.

The bits with the Giant-Size boys club (Peter, Kurt and Logan, the only surviving guys from Giant-Size X-Men) were pretty great. Those three have always been close friends and I'm so pleased to actually see it addressed and to see them just hanging out. Moments like these don't come along often and when they do, they are so important.

The art leaves a lot to be desired. It's nice, professional, tells the story, but it's too pretty. It looks like an ad for hip new cologne, not a comic book. I'm not a fan of the photo-realism, I kinda wish it would go away.

This issue didn't break any new ground, nothing important really happened, and the cliffhanger is so darn unexciting. For all of these reasons, I loved it. It feels like this is a comic book about characters, and after the long and hard decade Uncanny has had, it's about time.

MY SCORE: 8.7/10

Ear Pain

I've been suffering with my Apple earbuds ever since I got my iPod over three years ago. They fall out of my ear, can't handle bass well, get really stiff in the winter, and fall apart pretty easily (I'm on my third pair). They also don't get loud enough and never drown out the noise of the subway. I've never been a fan of them. I've been contemplating replacing them so I can squeeze all the juice from my music library orange (awesome metaphor! high five!). I finally did.

I bought JVC Marshmallow Soft Inner Ear headphones.


I chose the cool blue color because, well, I'm not going to use pink head phones. I was pretty stoked upon buying them and ripped them open as soon as I got back to work (I bought them on my lun-wait, don't get a lunch break). I read the instructions (they came with instructions! They contain so much power that I have to read before I can handle them!) and learned that I had to use my forefinger and thumb to press the marshmallow down before putting it in my ear, thus allowing it to expand inside and allow nothing but rock inside my brain. I was kinda cautious at the notion of having to touch them before putting them in my ear, knowing that that meant putting a vicious cocktail of NYC germs in my ear multiple times a day. Whatever.

I tested them out by playing The Go! Team, a band whose sonic adventures I was certain were being stifled by my crappy iPod earbuds. It sounded thin. And soft. And kinda tin canny. I fiddled with the settings on my iPod, changing the EQ from "rock" to "bass booster" and then "electronic." Not much of a change. I knew it wasn't a bit rate problem since I've been importing my songs at the highest bit rate as of late (I used to do 124 which sounds fine to me but, well, now I have the fear of having to re-import all my music if I ever start detecting sound loss). I had been told that the JVC had a pretty awesome bass sound that I was obviously not hearing, so I played "Umbrella" by Rihanna and set the EQ to "hip hop" (right?). Eh, okay. Nothing special.

I didn't touch them for the rest of the day, not out of disappointment, just due to lack of opportunities.

I merrily put them on this morning, eager to try other songs. I started off listening to the Roxy Music album "Country Life." All the songs sounded so sad, and not just "Bitter Sweet." "The Thrill of it All" sounded weak. Weak! No, that's not right! I told myself this had to be because the album is old and wasn't meant to be listened to on such high-tech headphones as my new $25 JVC Marshmallow headphones. Okay, fine, whatever. I then went back to listening to The Go! Team, whose songs sometimes purposefully sound poor so this did nothing to make or break my opinion on the headphones.

I needed something a little more melancholy and "Automatic Stop" by The Strokes seemed to be the answer. "If this doesn't sound good," I thought to myself, "these headphones are done for." If one of my favorite songs from one of my top 3 albums of all time doesn't sound pumped full of new blood by the millions of ear-bits and sound-modulators (or whatever is in fancy headphones) then these headphones are garbage. It sounded lame. Julian sounded so muffled. Okay, I told myself that this had to be because Julian has an effect on his voice for the first two Strokes albums and and and Fabrizio's drums were critiqued as sounding like sticks on cardboard (only for the song "The Way It Is" but I convinced myself that it could be possible for the rest of the album). I was subconsciously listening to old songs or songs with purposeful sound flaws so I could justify having spent $25 on headphones that may be worse than my earbuds.

I knew I had to put them to the ultimate test.

I had to listen to "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives.

Backtracking, "Tick Tick Boom" is a song that sounds like an entire angry gang of guitars are beating up your inner ear canal when you listen to it. The guitars cut through your ear wax like switchblades and the howls of Pelle sound like your own personal death cry; they go to your soul and make you feel completely helpless. That's what they sound like on my earbuds.

The song sounded like The Monkees on the TWENTY FIVE DOLLAR JVC headphones. And not stereo Monkees, mono Monkees.

Done. That's it. Over. I'm going back to the earbuds for whoever knows how much longer they'll last (the rubber around the speakers are starting to give already, ugh) and these headphones that cost more than a two DVD set of Roxy Music videos are being downgraded to my work computer only.

Geez.

Comics: 1-30-08

MIGHTY AVENGERS #8
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Mark Bagley
Inkers: Danny Miki & Crime Lab Studios' Allen Martinez & Victor Olazaba
Colorist: Justin Ponsor & Stephane Peru
Letterer: Artmonkeys' Dave Lanphear
Production: Rich Ginter
Associate Editor: Molly Lazer
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Mark Bagley's catch-up job on Mighty Avengers ships another issue just three weeks after the previous one, which is also the same week that New Avengers finally ships the final part to their "Trust" arc. Both of the books are almost at the same place, continuity wise, but this doesn't stop the whole thing from being a mess. Like I said (probably) in the review to #7, all drama in this issue is completely gone since, really, a good chunk of this story was already published back in New Avengers #36. That issue was released on November 14th. That's crazy-bad scheduling. We've had to wait since then to find out exactly what Tony Stark did to rid New York City of the symbiote bomb that, literally, was there one page and not there the next in that New issue. We find out in this issue of Mighty that he just whipped up an antidote, real nice and quick like. I mean, I guess that's okay. I am not a fan of unnecessarily convoluted remedies and mechanical macguffins that pop up out of nowhere, but there's nothing more than one of Mr. Fantastic's computers analyzing a sample symbiote and producing the magic cure. That Iron Man then sprays everywhere. Problem solved. We waited two and a half months for that?

There are also some frustrating errors when reading these two issues back to back. Again, I have to stress how lax I am with continuity these days, especially with Quesada's Marvel. But both of these books are written by the same guy and the dialogue in both books is the same as well, meaning that Bendis definitely looked at the issue of New when scripting this issue. I can get that there are little asides and bits of dialogue that are not in each issue. That's fine. I look at this as being two different cuts of the same movie, with Bendis choosing what word balloons to include to enhance each story. That's fine. But. Why, then, does a phrase that Wonder Man says in New turn into one that Ms. Marvel says in Mighty? And, biggest mix-up of all, why does an entire scene with Luke Cage comforting an attack victim in New turn into, same dialogue and all, Hawkeye (Ronin, Clint, whatever) in Mighty? Yeah, it's obvious that Iron Man confronting Hawkeye is good drama for Mighty Avengers, but why blatantly change the character? Couldn't Bendis have made Hawkeye help another victim with different dialogue? Whatever. Bendis is writing so many books a month, I guess we can't expect him to keep them all straight even when he goes out of his way to make them depict the exact same story.

But. Overall. The issue has good art. The characters are all interesting and issues like this really drive home the difference between and the need for two Avengers titles. Also, Iron Man's comment about Wolverine being a symbiote once ("What hasn't he done?") is great. The buildup to "Secret Invasion" is still keeping me interested, it's just when Bendis does issues with blatant continuity errors like this I have huge worries about him planning a line wide event.

MY SCORE: 8.2/10


NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #2
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Carlo Pagulayan
Inker: Jeff Huet
Colorist: Justin Ponsor
Letterer: RS & Comicraft's Albert Deschesne
Associate Editor: Molly Lazer
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

Sadly, I'm going to continue on my continuity rants since they're all that is holding the Avengers titles back from greatness. Really, I have a lot of fun reading these comics and Bendis has made me care about characters that I've never even given two shakes about before.

Complaint #1: Dr. Strange has, at some point, been attacked by the Hulk during the Marvel event "World War Hulk" and is now the victim of broken hands. A plot point that comes into play in this issue. A plot point that hasn't come up at all since this whole epic storyline started way back in New Avengers #27 almost a year ago. This book has been so densely plotted, I can't piece where Strange was supposed to have slipped away to get his hands jacked up. Therefore, he's been like this the whole time, a fact that hasn't mattered at all until now probably because Bendis didn't know that other people were using his characters in the rest of the Marvel Universe. This is more of an editorial problem, I'd say. I almost respect Bendis turning this awkward turn of events into a pivotal part of the story (it turns out he's been in cahoots with dark magic to mask his crippled hands) but it just reeks of rewrite and acts almost like a cop out. The bad guys win. They kill the Avengers. And Dr. Strange uses his dark voodoo to resurrect them, voodoo he didn't have until Bendis was clued in on a story that, yep editors, he should have been told about a year ago.

Complaint #2: Ms. Marvel shows up and lets the renegade Avengers go free, letting their good deeds and the bigger picture outweigh their unregistered status. Wait, did I just describe the ending to New Avengers #36/Mighty Avengers #8 or this annual? Oh. All three. That's right. In two comics that came out on the SAME DAY that tell stories that, seriously, probably take place no more than a day (if even half a day) apart from each other, Ms. Marvel lets them go. And no one says anything. This is just lazy. I like that Bendis let one of Ms. Marvel's S.H.I.E.L.D. grunts voice concern over this but, really, it should have been Ms. Marvel herself expressing her concerns over continually letting these guys go.

Complaint #3: Spider-Man. There's no linear continuity gaff here; the last year's worth of both Avengers titles have probably occurred over, what, a week at most? So yeah, he's still in the black costume. That's fine. It's just that he's walking around with his mask off all over the place, a huge plot point which was just negated under a month ago in The Most Confusing Marvel Story Ever being told right now in Amazing Spider-Man. No one knows that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Everyone's memories were altered by Mephisto. So that means that Marvel has just published a story that was, essentially, negated and altered in another story that's still on the stands. The whole notion of no one knowing who Spider-Man is is so ludicrous, I can't buy it. I can't buy that America knows that Spider-Man was unmasked but "no one can remember who was under the mask." That's. Retarded.

And those are the biggies. The issue is a huge fight scene, which I have to say Bendis isn't good at. Fists flying, half sentences and grunts, the issue takes about 10 minutes to read and it's longer than the normal one. "The Trust" arc had such a great build up, the deus ex machina of Strange's suddenly crippled demon hands is a let down. I have a headache just thinking about this issue.

MY SCORE: 7.3/10


ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #118
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Stuart Immonen
Inker: Wade von Grawbadger
Colorist: Justin Ponsor
Letterer: VC's Cory Petit
Production: Anthony Dial
Assistant Editor: Lauren Sankovitch
Editor: Bill Rosemann
Senior Editor: Ralph Macchio
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley

So simple. The appeal of the Ultimate line used to be the flashy creators and the modern approach. Now, for me, the appeal is the ability to just read a comic that pretty much exists in its own forward-marching world. Yeah, the Ultimate universe is riddled with delays and some clunky continuity, but it's so refreshing to read Ultimate Spider-Man knowing that that's the only Ultimate book I have to read (and the only one I do). It's fun and shows how great a writer Bendis can be when he's not bogged down in the insanity of the Marvel timeline.

This is a fun issue. I like the parallel way each character is introduced with a short page or two of their inner monologue about how crappy their lives are. For the first time in a while, it seems like the book has a fully fleshed out supporting cast comprised of characters that I like. The convenient arrival of Iceman just at the worst moment is kinda hard to believe, but it's all written so well and plays off the character dynamics in such an entertaining way, I can deal with it. The reveal of Liz as a mutant (I assume Ultimate Firestar) was not a surprise but it was a nice cliffhanger to what is actually a quaint little standalone issue. Not much happens, but luckily Stuart Immonen is as skilled at making scrubbing counters look exciting as he is at giant goblins.

Another above average installment in the new era of Ultimate Spider-Man.

MY SCORE: 8.4/10